好像很快，2009的尾声，近在眼前。
我的脑，还停留在盘算圣诞节时的一切。
年底，第二次生病了。同样的病，同一个月份，两次。
2009，发生了很多很多东西
第一次 · 恋爱
第一次 · 踏足英国
第一次 · 自助自由行
第一次 · 做工
第一次 · 被家人搞得遍体鳞伤
我还记得，曾经有一位老师说过。
其实不是喜不喜欢，爱不爱，而是给不给对方机会。
我一直觉得如是，然而却不明白。
现在，好像终于参透了。
机会，我给了双方，跨出那一步，实语，是挣扎的。
一路走去，时而晴朗，时而阴暗。
曾经，柳暗花明又一村。
崎岖的路，使我看不见前方，但我习与为之。
船到桥都自然直，在某些时刻，我该懂得为自己做决定。
我还记得，飞机起飞时，眼泪流下时，我知道我不舍得。
我更知道，自己对于此程，没有太大的兴趣。
我不舍得，我的家人，我的朋友。。。。还有这里的一切。
去到哪里，我知道我不会一个人留在那里。
我心中明白到，我不能够一个人伸出异乡，无依无靠。即使一个朋友都没！
虽然如此，我看到了很多，学到了一些，体会了不一样的东西。。。。。
回来以后，偶然还是挂念在那里的日子。
或许，某天，我会回去。
以前，一直憧憬，一个人的背包旅行。
虽然我觉得，自己好像已经不太可能实现这么伟大的梦。
然而，却圆了一半的梦。跟朋友一起自助旅行。
在英国，我们去了很多的地方，虽说自助，可是自己好像都没下几分苦力。
我只是参与。真正的自助旅行，是在夏天结束之前，伦敦和香港之旅。
哪一个旅行，是我第二次去伦敦和香港，我更了解，及更认识这两个地方了。
^^
结束暑假课程，回到家里不久，我便开始工作。
因为我不想再有丝毫拖延。
一，我可以收更多的钱，如果我会继续深造。
二，暑假课程之前，我有四个月的假期。
开始工作以后，有点无法适从，我失去了时间上的自由。
我不能在周日去逛街，看戏。。。 所有的事情，必须在周末或假日。
工作无法专心，正facebook,副工作。
我想，我要改掉着一个习惯。
我应该更积极面对自己的工作，更努力进取一些。
工作以后，我的生活，好像都改变了。
我好像从此没了靠山。。。
妈妈犹如债主般要钱，我不知该往哪儿跑。
一次又一次，眼泪直下，无法制止。
一次又一次的心疼，狠心的一刀又一刀。
我无言，不想表达任何一页。
我想，我该确确实实地说出自己所想要，狠狠地决定。
我想，我喜欢上了英国，在我离开以后。
我想，我会去更多地方游走，首先，马来西亚。
我想，我该即刻改过自新，全心投入工作。
我想，自己才是最终可以依靠的人，无需向人低头。
人随着时间长大，明白的，渐多。
失去的，免提。
想要的，期待着。
愿，一切随心如意，安好，顺利。
我只想顺其自然，不要麻烦地安排。
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Goh YanQi
Since I've back from UK, I've not been updating about myself in my blog
This is because the blog had occurred some error and i hope it's gone now.
i also not sure what to be written here, but i'm free in the office so i have the time to think =)
I didn't really stop down myself after the London and Hong Kong trip. I just stayed at home for about 2 weeks time, then i move towards to KL and started my own expected, planned life. Yet, everything didn't seems well even until this moment. I'm frustrated with that, but I know it isnt something i could manage as in my finger tip, i have to wait..
I got a job which has to start to work on 1st Oct. I rejected the job actually but the interviewer kept pursuading me. And, finally he won it and i stayed. The feel wasn't good even i have started my job there. That was lonely life. Eat alone, even with roommate, yet doesn't talk. Sorry to say that, i couldn't understand her life. I chose to quit. While i was suffering my life there, i tried to get support from my family, beloved etc.. It seems like no one >.<
On that moment, i felt like, I'm a new born human on the earth, in the social with no one beside me. Nobody could unduerstand me. I didn't know the accuracy of my decision, I just know, I was really upset.
Life wasn't as good as i thought.
My 1st job, drew up something significant in my career life. It was busy, tasteless, and dull. I reached my office early in the morning, then started to work, then would take the lonely lunch, Then continue to work. Even it's time to get off, but everyone is still working. I should to go off at 5.30pm, even i work until 6.30pm, Colleague still stare at me when i go off... =.= The life was tiring.
However, i managed to quit lastly.
And, immediately i started my 2nd job on the next day. Tiring and rushing life continued. Yet, i have colleagues to eat together during lunch, punctual lunch time, chit-chatting throughout the lunch.. Work but slightly brighten up as well.
The busy life continued for 3 months and finally i could stop down after working for about 2 monts. Now, i'm shaking legs in my office. I'm thoroughly free!!!
I'm sleepy as well...
Well, will be continued...
Dont have the mood to write ><
This is because the blog had occurred some error and i hope it's gone now.
i also not sure what to be written here, but i'm free in the office so i have the time to think =)
I didn't really stop down myself after the London and Hong Kong trip. I just stayed at home for about 2 weeks time, then i move towards to KL and started my own expected, planned life. Yet, everything didn't seems well even until this moment. I'm frustrated with that, but I know it isnt something i could manage as in my finger tip, i have to wait..
I got a job which has to start to work on 1st Oct. I rejected the job actually but the interviewer kept pursuading me. And, finally he won it and i stayed. The feel wasn't good even i have started my job there. That was lonely life. Eat alone, even with roommate, yet doesn't talk. Sorry to say that, i couldn't understand her life. I chose to quit. While i was suffering my life there, i tried to get support from my family, beloved etc.. It seems like no one >.<
On that moment, i felt like, I'm a new born human on the earth, in the social with no one beside me. Nobody could unduerstand me. I didn't know the accuracy of my decision, I just know, I was really upset.
Life wasn't as good as i thought.
My 1st job, drew up something significant in my career life. It was busy, tasteless, and dull. I reached my office early in the morning, then started to work, then would take the lonely lunch, Then continue to work. Even it's time to get off, but everyone is still working. I should to go off at 5.30pm, even i work until 6.30pm, Colleague still stare at me when i go off... =.= The life was tiring.
However, i managed to quit lastly.
And, immediately i started my 2nd job on the next day. Tiring and rushing life continued. Yet, i have colleagues to eat together during lunch, punctual lunch time, chit-chatting throughout the lunch.. Work but slightly brighten up as well.
The busy life continued for 3 months and finally i could stop down after working for about 2 monts. Now, i'm shaking legs in my office. I'm thoroughly free!!!
I'm sleepy as well...
Well, will be continued...
Dont have the mood to write ><
Sunday, October 4, 2009
吃饭的压力
阿姨刚刚叫我吃饭，说开饭了，一切准备好了。
我却不敢下去，就不想看到不想看到的巨面
华人一向注重礼义廉耻，所以姨丈认为饭前叫所有人吃饭是一种礼貌，尤其长辈。
而我却觉得，反正大家坐下来了，为什么还要这样客气？？
凡正就是一家人吃饭，应该轻松地享受，无需拘礼。
昨天，听妹妹说，他在大厅广众面前说，要强逼我叫完所有人才可以吃。
。。。 。。。。 。。。。
好彩，妹妹冲凉，我说，我要等妹妹一起吃。。
嗯，就连最简单的吃饭也这样。。
=(
听到他们吃饭的声音，我还真却步了。。。
我却不敢下去，就不想看到不想看到的巨面
华人一向注重礼义廉耻，所以姨丈认为饭前叫所有人吃饭是一种礼貌，尤其长辈。
而我却觉得，反正大家坐下来了，为什么还要这样客气？？
凡正就是一家人吃饭，应该轻松地享受，无需拘礼。
昨天，听妹妹说，他在大厅广众面前说，要强逼我叫完所有人才可以吃。
。。。 。。。。 。。。。
好彩，妹妹冲凉，我说，我要等妹妹一起吃。。
嗯，就连最简单的吃饭也这样。。
=(
听到他们吃饭的声音，我还真却步了。。。
Update about YQ
I had being in Malaysia for half a month time =)
I wished to come back eagerly when i was in UK, i thought there is nth worth for me to stay down as i'm 'alone' there.
But when i left and depart and step on my homeland, there was a weird feeling rose in my heart, i didnt know how to describe it.
Somewhere so so so familiar to me, yet so strange to me..
The environment is totally different. There is another feel to see those malay nowadays... >,<
After back here, honestly i did nth even meeting on my friends.
I didnt contact ppl, but after that i just met up with my best friends..
The gathering was quite nice to me, i love it!!!!
It is really a long long time that i didnt 'yamcha' with friends..
No night life in UK >,<
Then, i had proceeded to KL
And i also got a job which i never plan or think of.
Yap, it's a QS job, and yet... it's sth about interior design, the company's speciality is totally new to me. Hmm~~~
I'm giving myself a chance to try... I'd quit if i couldnt suit myself there.
I felt the pressure, maybe of the environment, It just like i couldnt release myself even after work.
I hate the traffic jam!!! when go and back from work >,<
After back to here, and saw tonnes of cars... i felt heavy...upset!
Dunno wat would happen on me after this...?!
Just quick brief on my life, maybe would have lesser update after this
Cause i dunno does my company allow the staffs to blog anot as they blocked the friends maker websites like FB =(
Good luck to everyone =D
I wished to come back eagerly when i was in UK, i thought there is nth worth for me to stay down as i'm 'alone' there.
But when i left and depart and step on my homeland, there was a weird feeling rose in my heart, i didnt know how to describe it.
Somewhere so so so familiar to me, yet so strange to me..
The environment is totally different. There is another feel to see those malay nowadays... >,<
After back here, honestly i did nth even meeting on my friends.
I didnt contact ppl, but after that i just met up with my best friends..
The gathering was quite nice to me, i love it!!!!
It is really a long long time that i didnt 'yamcha' with friends..
No night life in UK >,<
Then, i had proceeded to KL
And i also got a job which i never plan or think of.
Yap, it's a QS job, and yet... it's sth about interior design, the company's speciality is totally new to me. Hmm~~~
I'm giving myself a chance to try... I'd quit if i couldnt suit myself there.
I felt the pressure, maybe of the environment, It just like i couldnt release myself even after work.
I hate the traffic jam!!! when go and back from work >,<
After back to here, and saw tonnes of cars... i felt heavy...upset!
Dunno wat would happen on me after this...?!
Just quick brief on my life, maybe would have lesser update after this
Cause i dunno does my company allow the staffs to blog anot as they blocked the friends maker websites like FB =(
Good luck to everyone =D
Sunday, August 30, 2009
阿嬷的话
星期六晚上
我刚才想起了一位朋友，好想念我们偶尔在星期六一起出去吃饭、聊天。
我一直都很享受这样的时刻，这是我要的星期六晚上。
想着想着，也没心情做功课，就看起超级星光大道来。
这是很长的一集，看到最后第二首歌，我的眼泪失控了。
那首歌，感动了我。
我觉得，这是一场很感动的演唱。
它让我的泪水猛飚........
它让我想起我的爷爷，也跟我说过同样的话。
萧煌奇 - 阿嬷的话
在细汉的时阵阮阿嬷对我尚好
甲尚好的东西拢会留乎我
伊嘛定定带我去幼稚园看人在七桃
看人在办公伙儿 看人在觅相找
伊定定跟阮说 叫阮着要好好仔读册
呒通大汉像恁老爸仔彼呢啊狼狈ㄛ
在彼个时阵 阮拢听拢呒
阿嬷 你到底是在讲什么
大汉了后 才知影阿嬷的话
我会甲永远永远放块心肝底
想到一步一步的过去
定定拢会乎人真难忘
时间一分一秒块过去
在阮的心内定定拢会想到伊
阿嬷你今嘛在叨位
阮在叫你你甘有听到
阮的认真甲阮的成功你甘有看到
阮在叫你你知影没
阿嬷你今嘛过的好么
甘有人块甲你照顾
希望后世人阮搁会冻来乎你疼
作你永远的孙仔
搁叫你一声阿嬷
********************************************************
我也想再叫你一声阿公
我也会记得你叫我好好读书，当年五、六年级的我。
其实，我也觉得很惭愧，因为心情不好，我把功课搁置一旁。
浪费了一天的时间。
很久，很久没被一首歌这样地感动了。
我好想念往生的爷爷
更想念在家的奶奶，希望她多多保重自己的健康
我刚才想起了一位朋友，好想念我们偶尔在星期六一起出去吃饭、聊天。
我一直都很享受这样的时刻，这是我要的星期六晚上。
想着想着，也没心情做功课，就看起超级星光大道来。
这是很长的一集，看到最后第二首歌，我的眼泪失控了。
那首歌，感动了我。
我觉得，这是一场很感动的演唱。
它让我的泪水猛飚........
它让我想起我的爷爷，也跟我说过同样的话。
萧煌奇 - 阿嬷的话
在细汉的时阵阮阿嬷对我尚好
甲尚好的东西拢会留乎我
伊嘛定定带我去幼稚园看人在七桃
看人在办公伙儿 看人在觅相找
伊定定跟阮说 叫阮着要好好仔读册
呒通大汉像恁老爸仔彼呢啊狼狈ㄛ
在彼个时阵 阮拢听拢呒
阿嬷 你到底是在讲什么
大汉了后 才知影阿嬷的话
我会甲永远永远放块心肝底
想到一步一步的过去
定定拢会乎人真难忘
时间一分一秒块过去
在阮的心内定定拢会想到伊
阿嬷你今嘛在叨位
阮在叫你你甘有听到
阮的认真甲阮的成功你甘有看到
阮在叫你你知影没
阿嬷你今嘛过的好么
甘有人块甲你照顾
希望后世人阮搁会冻来乎你疼
作你永远的孙仔
搁叫你一声阿嬷
********************************************************
我也想再叫你一声阿公
我也会记得你叫我好好读书，当年五、六年级的我。
其实，我也觉得很惭愧，因为心情不好，我把功课搁置一旁。
浪费了一天的时间。
很久，很久没被一首歌这样地感动了。
我好想念往生的爷爷
更想念在家的奶奶，希望她多多保重自己的健康
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Being Imposed!!!
It is so soon that i'm leaving Liverpool now...
I didnt expect to make new friends here, i mean someone who is close to me, whose can share life together.
Sorry that i dont know since when i had lost the passion in making new friends..
I was walking in city centre with my friends, and i received a call from my friend.
She seldom call to me, and that's why i feel weird to receive the call...
Her "there is closing down sales in Crocs"
Friend "why would she call u ger?"
YQ "maybe she knows i wanted to buy Crocs"
When i arrived in Crocs, i thought she went off, who knows, i still met her there.
She came to have few words with me, and i replied, then she went to talk with my friends.
After all, my friends told me... We knew her intention...
She needs my friends to deliver sth for her bf....
Haiz ><>
I was so frustrated after knowing her intention...
The feel was so bad!
Actually, i was being told she is very cunning and do everything with an intention?
I just never expect even such a tiny thing, she also did it with an intention......
Sob!
I didnt expect to make new friends here, i mean someone who is close to me, whose can share life together.
Sorry that i dont know since when i had lost the passion in making new friends..
I was walking in city centre with my friends, and i received a call from my friend.
She seldom call to me, and that's why i feel weird to receive the call...
Her "there is closing down sales in Crocs"
Friend "why would she call u ger?"
YQ "maybe she knows i wanted to buy Crocs"
When i arrived in Crocs, i thought she went off, who knows, i still met her there.
She came to have few words with me, and i replied, then she went to talk with my friends.
After all, my friends told me... We knew her intention...
She needs my friends to deliver sth for her bf....
Haiz ><>
I was so frustrated after knowing her intention...
The feel was so bad!
Actually, i was being told she is very cunning and do everything with an intention?
I just never expect even such a tiny thing, she also did it with an intention......
Sob!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Yasmin Ahmad
(雪蘭莪‧首邦市）大馬著名導演雅斯敏阿末（Yasmin Ahmad）週六（7月25日）晚上病逝後，今日（週日，7月26日）早上在梳邦再也的Abu Bakar As-Siddiq回教堂舉殯，大馬演藝圈及各界人士不捨這位名導離去，全體同聲一哭。
雅斯敏阿末於上週四（23日）因中風及腦出血突然昏迷後，連日來未甦醒的她於週六晚上11時25分與世長辭，享年51歲。
雅斯敏是於週四（23日）在第3電視開會時，突然因中風及腦出血昏倒，被緊急送往附近的白沙羅專科醫院急救，週六下午一度傳出病情惡化，並於週六晚上不敵病魔，與世長辭。
雅絲敏阿末的電影多半取材自她個人的生命經歷，親暱的家庭關係及駁雜多元的大馬社會成為她作品當中最關鍵的養份來源。
星洲日報‧2009.07.26
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------*
A reporting about the death of Malaysian Award-winning director, Yasmin Ahmad.
A local director who i admire so much..
I knew her from a magazine interview of her...
Then only i knew she was the director of Sepet...
It's rarely to meet such talent in Malaysia, as i prefer the realistic story line in her movies though i just ever watched Sepet..
Paise..
And yet, truly admire her from the bottom of my heart..
RIP
雅斯敏阿末於上週四（23日）因中風及腦出血突然昏迷後，連日來未甦醒的她於週六晚上11時25分與世長辭，享年51歲。
雅斯敏是於週四（23日）在第3電視開會時，突然因中風及腦出血昏倒，被緊急送往附近的白沙羅專科醫院急救，週六下午一度傳出病情惡化，並於週六晚上不敵病魔，與世長辭。
對馬來西亞本地愛好 電影者而言，雅絲敏阿末（Yasmin Ahmad）並不是陌生的名字，每年在各大節慶前後推出的國油（Petronas）廣告，溫馨且緊扣人心，一直深受國人喜愛，印裔父子同慶國慶、華裔婆孫 同慶新年、三大種族男童成“沙煲兄弟”，還有“LRT讓座位”國民意識廣告……這些感人、溫馨的廣告，都是出自雅絲敏之手。
雅絲敏阿末出生於1958年，14歲就到倫敦唸書，從事電視廣告製作26年，雖然在廣告界是殿堂級人馬，但雅絲敏從未考慮跨入電影界拍攝電影，直到爸爸病了。
她說：“因為我父親病了。我想要告訴我媽媽和爸爸，我很愛他們，想給他們一些東西，所以我拍了自己的首部電影《Rabun》，一部關於他們，關於老了仍彼此相愛的電影。就因為他們，所以才拍電影，有點意料之外。”
2002年以父母故事為藍本的電影《Rabun》獲得好評後，她之後約每年出品一部電影，雖然題材頗具爭議性，但幾乎都在海內外揚威，在國際間有一定的地位，2007年金馬獎影展“東南亞新勢力”便特地引介了她的4部作品；今年6月的台北電影，她不但擔任國際青年導演競賽的評審，同時還放映她的新作《Talentime》。
拍《單眼皮》後受華裔青睞
許多華裔是在雅絲敏於2004年拍攝電影《單眼皮》（Sepet）後，開始認識她，她更憑這部電影拿下法國Creteil國際女導演電影展最高榮譽評審大獎。
她在2007年為大馬國油拍攝的“陳鴻明”電視廣告，摘下康城金獅獎，成為史上首位奪得此獎的大馬人。她近2年奪得國際及國內廣告獎大獎，包括2008年安迪國際獎最佳導演及公共服務金獎。她也在《2009年首要藝術家獎頒獎典禮》，拿下“藝術家之星獎”。
《單眼皮》以及另二部曲作品《Gubra》和《Mukhsin》打響雅絲敏在本地與國際的知名 度，不僅在各大影展大放異彩，其跨族群文化的內容展現還打破大馬觀眾的觀影習慣，成功吸引不同種族的人走進電影院。當《單眼皮》和《Gubra》分別榮獲 第18屆和第19屆大馬電影節最佳電影獎後，引起主流馬來報章的一陣撻伐，被質疑其“馬來性”和得獎的合理性。
對於當時《單眼皮》引起輿論，雅絲敏被嗆聲指傾向華人社群，她曾淡淡地說：“其實，《單眼皮》只是個關於男女墮入愛河的愛情故事，無關華人或馬來人。”她表示，“我一直認為，唯有各族團結，大馬才會更美好。不管是我拍的戲或是廣告，都反映這項訊息。”
先後與印度人華人結婚
雅絲敏經歷2段婚姻，前任丈夫是印度人，現任丈夫則是小她5歲的陳耀良，在她的愛情裡，並沒有種族之分。
“我想說的就是，對我而言，他們只是人，沒有所謂的印度人或華人。”雅絲敏阿末的電影多半取材自她個人的生命經歷，親暱的家庭關係及駁雜多元的大馬社會成為她作品當中最關鍵的養份來源。
星洲日報‧2009.07.26
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------*
A reporting about the death of Malaysian Award-winning director, Yasmin Ahmad.
A local director who i admire so much..
I knew her from a magazine interview of her...
Then only i knew she was the director of Sepet...
It's rarely to meet such talent in Malaysia, as i prefer the realistic story line in her movies though i just ever watched Sepet..
Paise..
And yet, truly admire her from the bottom of my heart..
RIP
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Night Walk
Always sleep in the very late midnight...
Busying something means nothing..,
Tired + Sleepy in class...
I was having a nap this evening, When i woke up..
I felt to go out to buy my thing..
And i get what i want to.. Bread...
9pm++, i think about to 10pm...
The Sun begun to set, lighting on the streets..
I pass the pubs and bistros, crowds everywhere...
Cars park along the road, full!!!
It has been a very long time I dun see such a situation.
It brought me back to the Friday night in KL city..
Where i always went out at night, for movie, for a drink, for..... anything..
As long as i wanted to go out... To relax....
Busying something means nothing..,
Tired + Sleepy in class...
I was having a nap this evening, When i woke up..
I felt to go out to buy my thing..
And i get what i want to.. Bread...
9pm++, i think about to 10pm...
The Sun begun to set, lighting on the streets..
I pass the pubs and bistros, crowds everywhere...
Cars park along the road, full!!!
It has been a very long time I dun see such a situation.
It brought me back to the Friday night in KL city..
Where i always went out at night, for movie, for a drink, for..... anything..As long as i wanted to go out... To relax....
Thursday, July 23, 2009
随意
好想家
好想念家人
（妈妈忙得两个星期多没跟我聊天）
想朋友
想念一班好朋友
（我好像很久没跟朋友联络）
想喝汽水；想吃零食
突然想看戏，手里握着汽水+零食
（平时，我并不怎么喝汽水，零食也少吃，现在一直尝试这里的薯片）
想去海边·拍照
想看日落，想一个人沉思
想哭，想睡
想念，如果会有声音
不愿，那是悲伤的声音
在这里，我不可以随意打电话
在这里，我不可以随意找到我想找的人
在这里，什么都有，就是没有归属感
在这里， ... ... ... ...
好想念家人
（妈妈忙得两个星期多没跟我聊天）
想朋友
想念一班好朋友
（我好像很久没跟朋友联络）
想喝汽水；想吃零食
突然想看戏，手里握着汽水+零食
（平时，我并不怎么喝汽水，零食也少吃，现在一直尝试这里的薯片）
想去海边·拍照
想看日落，想一个人沉思
想哭，想睡
想念，如果会有声音
不愿，那是悲伤的声音
在这里，我不可以随意打电话
在这里，我不可以随意找到我想找的人
在这里，什么都有，就是没有归属感
在这里， ... ... ... ...
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Malaysians Style Breakfast
I woke up around 6am sth...
So unwilling to wake up as i still sleepy...
It's a nice day..
Nice weather.. even without sunshine.....
Quite cloudy...
And I decided to make myself a nice breakfast for waking up so early..
=p
Just a tiny award to myself before i start to do my revision for the exam papers on next week...
As i have extra 10 eggs in a sudden..
Then, i decided to make this breakfast for myself..
Milo + Half boiled egg + Bread ^^
= Satisfied!!!
Hope, i could really study sth today.... =p
So unwilling to wake up as i still sleepy...
It's a nice day..
Nice weather.. even without sunshine.....
Quite cloudy...
And I decided to make myself a nice breakfast for waking up so early..
=p
Just a tiny award to myself before i start to do my revision for the exam papers on next week...
As i have extra 10 eggs in a sudden..
Then, i decided to make this breakfast for myself..
Milo + Half boiled egg + Bread ^^
= Satisfied!!!
Hope, i could really study sth today.... =p
Friday, July 3, 2009
闷
HHHhhhmmmmm~~ 忽然胸口闷着闷着。
这两天很想听歌，一些不一样的歌。
偶尔觉得，太安静了。
昨晚，半夜，朋友说想出去走走，12am 我竟然说，要就走吧！
虽然出去，可能一个人走，但就想出去。
最后，还是留在家里，泡网
嗯，终于看完巾帼袅雄，感动，流泪
夜深，天快亮，我才入睡。
醒来，天没有很亮，因为外面飘着毛毛细雨。
心情，好像也这样子，
闷闷地
阴阴地
讲话也没有很客气
心情总是不安牌理出牌 >..<
其实，很想躲在厚厚的被窝里
其实，很想被抱着，很想念哪一个体温
嗯，忽然什么都不想做。。。
又是懒懒的艳琦
这两天很想听歌，一些不一样的歌。
偶尔觉得，太安静了。
昨晚，半夜，朋友说想出去走走，12am 我竟然说，要就走吧！
虽然出去，可能一个人走，但就想出去。
最后，还是留在家里，泡网
嗯，终于看完巾帼袅雄，感动，流泪
夜深，天快亮，我才入睡。
醒来，天没有很亮，因为外面飘着毛毛细雨。
心情，好像也这样子，
闷闷地
阴阴地
讲话也没有很客气
心情总是不安牌理出牌 >..<
其实，很想躲在厚厚的被窝里
其实，很想被抱着，很想念哪一个体温
嗯，忽然什么都不想做。。。
又是懒懒的艳琦
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
给情侣们......
谈恋爱其实是什么？！每个人应该都有自己的见解。
我认为，一起恋爱，是一起分享彼此的生活，而不是其中一方照顾另一方；另一方一味依赖其中一方。。我一直都这么认为。
有一天，有一位朋友说“是哦，现在你拍拖了，我可以跟你问你感情的问题了。” zzz =.="
我一直以来都有自己的见解，这跟我有没有男朋友没关系。可以随时问我，但请不要一直追问我的感情事。
虽然一直以来我都没有拍拖，曾经很想，曾经觉得可有可无，曾经不想。。。。
因为我觉得，一直以来我自己一个人，好好的，没必要多一个人分享或缭乱我的生活。
或许，我太眷恋自由自在的生活。
一直以来，我都有观察自己身边的情侣。
一些每天好像双胞胎，分不开。
一些每天斗嘴，好了又吵，吵了又好。
（我曾经跟一位朋友说，其实他对你很好，不要一直抱怨，应该珍惜）
*如果我看不到这一点，我一定不会说
一些感情如儿戏，换恋人如换衣。
没有多加的批评，只是觉得，这样真的开心点吗？
是不是恋爱多了，经验多了，威水点？还是，只想做不同的尝试？
一些可以一整天不联络，缺乏沟通。彼此间的‘沟通’只是交待。
最近来到新的环境，新的朋友，新的情侣。
一开始，我觉得他们很好，应该不错。怎知后来才知道，双方的记录应该都不好。
（原谅我的老土，或许多一点的恋爱经验，并不等于不良记录）
仔细观察以后，发现，女的总是要男的帮她做东西。
开始，每一天早上看到男朋友给女朋友准备早餐，很幸福，很浪漫。
可是，久了，我就觉得，有一天，男朋友会厌倦这种生活吗？因为，其实彼此都会享受别人为自己准备早餐的时刻。
好像是我第一次听说他们吵架以后，我看到女朋友准备早餐。
或许，女生都不应该做粗重的工作，这代表男生对自己的疼爱？
我只是觉得，男朋友好像做多了。
其实，一些东西女生也可以做，也可以自己学习。
一起恋爱，不一定是指定一方侍候另一方。
我认为，一起做，效果应该更好一些。
我其实不喜欢看到情侣吵架，即使只为小事争吵。
因为我觉得，吵得多了，感情一定会有裂缝。
而裂缝，或许是无法弥补的。
裂缝随时分裂，或永远留在哪里。。。
而且，有时候，这些争吵也会给我带来烦恼。
两个不同的个体，一定会有争吵时，只是，太多的争吵，便对感情造成伤害了。
或许该听听大家的想法，再寻找共同点。
没有共识，就应该无法走同一条路。
争吵，或许可以带来更多的沟通，而让彼此了解。
虽然我不赞同，只是，一些情侣甚至没有沟通，只是觉得应该交待。
就对彼此交待大家做了什么东西。或许他是你生活的一部分，但绝不是你心灵的一部分。
这或许是一种惯性依赖，只是我想，一天，大家没有了话题，往后的日子，要怎么走下去。
每天看着对方，觉得对方没变，便等于安好？
其实，生活里，还有很多可以分享的东西。人的想法、见解是会随着时间而改变。
缺乏沟通，或许一天，你会发现，你最熟悉的人，成为一位陌生人。
那是可悲的一天。
到现在，每当我看见满头银发的老夫妻牵着彼此的手走在路上，心中总是莫名感动、羡慕。
我想，两人可以走过半世人的日子，应该不简单，当众一起经历的。。。。
因为现在的婚姻也如儿戏般。婚姻不是一个保障。
我看到自己的父母，到现在还有很多的话题，一起出街，我还是深深的祝福。
希望他们可以一直这样下去。。。。
以前，对恋爱有一定的见解。那些，应该都不会错。
只是，后来才体会了一些细节，一些事情，想、说、做，未必是一样的。
生活，是一起学习、分享。
=)
珍惜眼前人，如果他/她不是对的人，或许真的不该浪费时间。
付出的未必等于回报，只是没有回报，付出的，好像白费了。
意义也没有了。
看到一些情侣分手了，不一定觉得可惜。
一些感情，是应该结束，不该浪费任何一方的感情、时间。
只是不明白，为什么一些人可以盲目地恋爱？！
或许我真的太理智，太清醒！
我认为，一起恋爱，是一起分享彼此的生活，而不是其中一方照顾另一方；另一方一味依赖其中一方。。我一直都这么认为。
有一天，有一位朋友说“是哦，现在你拍拖了，我可以跟你问你感情的问题了。” zzz =.="
我一直以来都有自己的见解，这跟我有没有男朋友没关系。可以随时问我，但请不要一直追问我的感情事。
虽然一直以来我都没有拍拖，曾经很想，曾经觉得可有可无，曾经不想。。。。
因为我觉得，一直以来我自己一个人，好好的，没必要多一个人分享或缭乱我的生活。
或许，我太眷恋自由自在的生活。
一直以来，我都有观察自己身边的情侣。
一些每天好像双胞胎，分不开。
一些每天斗嘴，好了又吵，吵了又好。
（我曾经跟一位朋友说，其实他对你很好，不要一直抱怨，应该珍惜）
*如果我看不到这一点，我一定不会说
一些感情如儿戏，换恋人如换衣。
没有多加的批评，只是觉得，这样真的开心点吗？
是不是恋爱多了，经验多了，威水点？还是，只想做不同的尝试？
一些可以一整天不联络，缺乏沟通。彼此间的‘沟通’只是交待。
最近来到新的环境，新的朋友，新的情侣。
一开始，我觉得他们很好，应该不错。怎知后来才知道，双方的记录应该都不好。
（原谅我的老土，或许多一点的恋爱经验，并不等于不良记录）
仔细观察以后，发现，女的总是要男的帮她做东西。
开始，每一天早上看到男朋友给女朋友准备早餐，很幸福，很浪漫。
可是，久了，我就觉得，有一天，男朋友会厌倦这种生活吗？因为，其实彼此都会享受别人为自己准备早餐的时刻。
好像是我第一次听说他们吵架以后，我看到女朋友准备早餐。
或许，女生都不应该做粗重的工作，这代表男生对自己的疼爱？
我只是觉得，男朋友好像做多了。
其实，一些东西女生也可以做，也可以自己学习。
一起恋爱，不一定是指定一方侍候另一方。
我认为，一起做，效果应该更好一些。
我其实不喜欢看到情侣吵架，即使只为小事争吵。
因为我觉得，吵得多了，感情一定会有裂缝。
而裂缝，或许是无法弥补的。
裂缝随时分裂，或永远留在哪里。。。
而且，有时候，这些争吵也会给我带来烦恼。
两个不同的个体，一定会有争吵时，只是，太多的争吵，便对感情造成伤害了。
或许该听听大家的想法，再寻找共同点。
没有共识，就应该无法走同一条路。
争吵，或许可以带来更多的沟通，而让彼此了解。
虽然我不赞同，只是，一些情侣甚至没有沟通，只是觉得应该交待。
就对彼此交待大家做了什么东西。或许他是你生活的一部分，但绝不是你心灵的一部分。
这或许是一种惯性依赖，只是我想，一天，大家没有了话题，往后的日子，要怎么走下去。
每天看着对方，觉得对方没变，便等于安好？
其实，生活里，还有很多可以分享的东西。人的想法、见解是会随着时间而改变。
缺乏沟通，或许一天，你会发现，你最熟悉的人，成为一位陌生人。
那是可悲的一天。
到现在，每当我看见满头银发的老夫妻牵着彼此的手走在路上，心中总是莫名感动、羡慕。
我想，两人可以走过半世人的日子，应该不简单，当众一起经历的。。。。
因为现在的婚姻也如儿戏般。婚姻不是一个保障。
我看到自己的父母，到现在还有很多的话题，一起出街，我还是深深的祝福。
希望他们可以一直这样下去。。。。
以前，对恋爱有一定的见解。那些，应该都不会错。
只是，后来才体会了一些细节，一些事情，想、说、做，未必是一样的。
生活，是一起学习、分享。
=)
珍惜眼前人，如果他/她不是对的人，或许真的不该浪费时间。
付出的未必等于回报，只是没有回报，付出的，好像白费了。
意义也没有了。
看到一些情侣分手了，不一定觉得可惜。
一些感情，是应该结束，不该浪费任何一方的感情、时间。
只是不明白，为什么一些人可以盲目地恋爱？！
或许我真的太理智，太清醒！
Birthday in London
It was just like dreaming when I knew I'm going to spend my birthday in London.
London, such a big city where I dun ever dare to think to have such a chance to go there during my day..
Feel please to have the chance =)
And yet, i dun have any excitement in my heart though it is such a dreamy place to me.
It's just like when I had to depart from MAS.
To me, it is more important to spend the day with someone else....
My friends who I'm well know with, crazy tgt~~ My family... My love one....
I was missing them badly during the time... They are the most important ppl to me...
This could be said as my most quiet birthday I have since I came out to study, no celebration, no cake, no birthday song...
I rather to celebrate my birthday in my homeland, with someone i'm familiar to...
London has anything I want... full with crowds, foods, etc.....
I saw koreans, japanese, chinese everywhere... wondering how good London is, why are the ppl coming here?
Besides, the transportation system is so good, excellent accessibility.
And yet, i think it is just in London but not all the states in England.... Not fully developed yet.
But, it is better KL make good the place 1st..
And... I could also see ppl with different kind of fashion on the streets.. Salute to them!
And.. finally i know, London is really a big city... I walked so much there....
I couldnt believe that i could walk so far....
I think, London is somewhere worth visiting... Quite a lovely n attractive city......
Finally, at the age of 22nd, i step on London...
Been to River Thames, Tower Bridge, House of Parliament, St. Paul's Cathedral.... etc
Somewhere i looked at pics since i were so young.. long long time ago...
I couldnt believe i was there.
But, there were not as pretty as in my mind...
My birthday ended up with Korean food with my friends...
Thank you~ ^^
Even it was simple, and yet after a tiring day, they still walk further to the restaurant..
Again, i wish everyone stay healthy n happily.... beware of H1N1*
And... i hope i can score the best result i could achieve =)
22nd... hmm~~~ i remember i couldnt accept that i was 20 years old...
And, it was 2 year ago...
Jui said, we are no more 18-22... Yup, we are not....
Hope that we could face the fact, and grow more matured, more responsible with our life...
At least, to have a target to go on~~~
22nd... it seems like, i still have nth~~~
Life, keep on to go, and I didnt make any change for it..
Let it be.......
This year, no more unacceptable feel... just... no feel, missing home land...
Age, sth i couldnt control...
And i think, i should grow up as time goes on....
I hope i do...
In London, i almost forget that was my birthday... Maybe, i dun have any celebration...
Without a cake... Anyway, i'd like to buy one for myself during my lunar calendar birthday..
Sound pity...
生日，其实只是普通的一天。
只想天天都开心 =)
London, such a big city where I dun ever dare to think to have such a chance to go there during my day..
Feel please to have the chance =)
And yet, i dun have any excitement in my heart though it is such a dreamy place to me.
It's just like when I had to depart from MAS.
To me, it is more important to spend the day with someone else....
My friends who I'm well know with, crazy tgt~~ My family... My love one....
I was missing them badly during the time... They are the most important ppl to me...
This could be said as my most quiet birthday I have since I came out to study, no celebration, no cake, no birthday song...
I rather to celebrate my birthday in my homeland, with someone i'm familiar to...
London has anything I want... full with crowds, foods, etc.....
I saw koreans, japanese, chinese everywhere... wondering how good London is, why are the ppl coming here?
Besides, the transportation system is so good, excellent accessibility.
And yet, i think it is just in London but not all the states in England.... Not fully developed yet.
But, it is better KL make good the place 1st..
And... I could also see ppl with different kind of fashion on the streets.. Salute to them!
And.. finally i know, London is really a big city... I walked so much there....
I couldnt believe that i could walk so far....
I think, London is somewhere worth visiting... Quite a lovely n attractive city......
Finally, at the age of 22nd, i step on London...
Been to River Thames, Tower Bridge, House of Parliament, St. Paul's Cathedral.... etc
Somewhere i looked at pics since i were so young.. long long time ago...
I couldnt believe i was there.
But, there were not as pretty as in my mind...
My birthday ended up with Korean food with my friends...
Thank you~ ^^
Even it was simple, and yet after a tiring day, they still walk further to the restaurant..
Again, i wish everyone stay healthy n happily.... beware of H1N1*
And... i hope i can score the best result i could achieve =)
22nd... hmm~~~ i remember i couldnt accept that i was 20 years old...
And, it was 2 year ago...
Jui said, we are no more 18-22... Yup, we are not....
Hope that we could face the fact, and grow more matured, more responsible with our life...
At least, to have a target to go on~~~
22nd... it seems like, i still have nth~~~
Life, keep on to go, and I didnt make any change for it..
Let it be.......
This year, no more unacceptable feel... just... no feel, missing home land...
Age, sth i couldnt control...
And i think, i should grow up as time goes on....
I hope i do...
In London, i almost forget that was my birthday... Maybe, i dun have any celebration...
Without a cake... Anyway, i'd like to buy one for myself during my lunar calendar birthday..
Sound pity...
生日，其实只是普通的一天。
只想天天都开心 =)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Busy life in Liverpool
Hmm... time always flies without waiting for anyone.. This is the 3rd week in Liverpool....
For the 1st 2 weeks, it was quite enjoying... We had 2 hours classes per day... Gosh, what a relax studying life here. I thought, I was wrong by expecting the hard life here.
[According to seniors, studying in Liverpool John Moores University (LJMU) is much tougher than study in Sheffield Hallam University (SHU)]
I was thinking, how could seniors said tough with such a life? 2 hours class, then u could go around the city centre, walk around, do some shopping or window shopping, etc....
Nightmare begins...
Yesterday was the starting of 3rd week with a new subject, which is about cost and financial.
When I first get the handout, I looked at the schedule of the module... My eyes brighten up with sth... "Group Presentation"
There is group presentation on the next day, and it's going to be held throughout the 2 weeks module daily. GOSH!!!!!!!
What is this? It means, we are going to have daily assignment and have to present it on the next day..... >,<
I was really really upset with that, frustrated life.... Disgusting!
Maybe it is a long time i have been having my holiday, relaxing all the way without using my brain. And yet, i think, my brain need sometime to warm up.... zzz
I dun like a rushing life, just busying doing thing from day to night, before sleep, after i wake up..
That's why, on the moment, i'm looking forward to the weekends. At least i think, i could give myself some time, to tidy up myself. And also to let my hair down....
I always need time for myself, just to tidy up my own mind, prepare for the next week. Doing sth i like to....
Tension life.
Fighting with time for the assignments...
Searching some info which we do not know previously from none....
Hope that, everything going to be fine and get used with it...
=)
For the 1st 2 weeks, it was quite enjoying... We had 2 hours classes per day... Gosh, what a relax studying life here. I thought, I was wrong by expecting the hard life here.
[According to seniors, studying in Liverpool John Moores University (LJMU) is much tougher than study in Sheffield Hallam University (SHU)]
I was thinking, how could seniors said tough with such a life? 2 hours class, then u could go around the city centre, walk around, do some shopping or window shopping, etc....
Nightmare begins...
Yesterday was the starting of 3rd week with a new subject, which is about cost and financial.
When I first get the handout, I looked at the schedule of the module... My eyes brighten up with sth... "Group Presentation"
There is group presentation on the next day, and it's going to be held throughout the 2 weeks module daily. GOSH!!!!!!!
What is this? It means, we are going to have daily assignment and have to present it on the next day..... >,<
I was really really upset with that, frustrated life.... Disgusting!
Maybe it is a long time i have been having my holiday, relaxing all the way without using my brain. And yet, i think, my brain need sometime to warm up.... zzz
I dun like a rushing life, just busying doing thing from day to night, before sleep, after i wake up..
That's why, on the moment, i'm looking forward to the weekends. At least i think, i could give myself some time, to tidy up myself. And also to let my hair down....
I always need time for myself, just to tidy up my own mind, prepare for the next week. Doing sth i like to....
Tension life.
Fighting with time for the assignments...
Searching some info which we do not know previously from none....
Hope that, everything going to be fine and get used with it...
=)
Sunday, June 7, 2009
聊天
刚刚，突然有一位不太熟悉的朋友到我的房间来聊天。其实，只是普通谈天。
在我们这种阶段，很自然就会聊到毕业以后要到哪里工作。
听她说完，我觉得自己很幸福。在外读书的这些日子，我并没有打过工。
一路以来，都在享受生活。日子总是嘻嘻哈哈，除了功课的压力，基本上已经没有了。
我从来不担心钱不够用，也从来不想要向任何机构借钱读书。
毕业以后，就只需要给家人生活费，如果允许，就给更多，以作这么多年来的养育之恩
我们当然也有聊聊这里的生活。她说，她希望留在这里，因为马来西亚无法赚钱。
（她还有一大笔读书债）因此她说，想在这里工作。是的。。。因为兑换率，而且没有繁忙、古燥的生活。
或许他们努力过，他们已经迈进享受的时候。
这里的人，日出而作，日入而息，很享受的生活。
吉隆坡，车水马龙，四处喧哗。。。。。
再来，便聊到感情。她说，很多情侣来了英国读书以后，毕业以后，便分道扬镳
原因是因为双方都坚持在自己的家乡工作，从此断绝联络。
听来好像很残忍，可是这就是事实。
两个人在一起，就要相互忍让，互相迁就。
但愿，我没有这样的一天。
渐渐，对于自己的这一段感情建立起一定的信心。坦白说，对我来说不容易。
忽然听到这样的事实。。。 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！！
对于前程，我还不知道。
因为，我觉得马来西亚比较有归属感。
因为，我不知道自己是否可以度过一个人的日子。
农历新年，中秋，冬至。。。。。。。。。佳节倍思亲。
突然，前路茫茫
累，晚安
在我们这种阶段，很自然就会聊到毕业以后要到哪里工作。
听她说完，我觉得自己很幸福。在外读书的这些日子，我并没有打过工。
一路以来，都在享受生活。日子总是嘻嘻哈哈，除了功课的压力，基本上已经没有了。
我从来不担心钱不够用，也从来不想要向任何机构借钱读书。
毕业以后，就只需要给家人生活费，如果允许，就给更多，以作这么多年来的养育之恩
我们当然也有聊聊这里的生活。她说，她希望留在这里，因为马来西亚无法赚钱。
（她还有一大笔读书债）因此她说，想在这里工作。是的。。。因为兑换率，而且没有繁忙、古燥的生活。
或许他们努力过，他们已经迈进享受的时候。
这里的人，日出而作，日入而息，很享受的生活。
吉隆坡，车水马龙，四处喧哗。。。。。
再来，便聊到感情。她说，很多情侣来了英国读书以后，毕业以后，便分道扬镳
原因是因为双方都坚持在自己的家乡工作，从此断绝联络。
听来好像很残忍，可是这就是事实。
两个人在一起，就要相互忍让，互相迁就。
但愿，我没有这样的一天。
渐渐，对于自己的这一段感情建立起一定的信心。坦白说，对我来说不容易。
忽然听到这样的事实。。。 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！！
对于前程，我还不知道。
因为，我觉得马来西亚比较有归属感。
因为，我不知道自己是否可以度过一个人的日子。
农历新年，中秋，冬至。。。。。。。。。佳节倍思亲。
突然，前路茫茫
累，晚安
Saturday, June 6, 2009
All About Me = YaNQl
It has been a real long long time i dun update myself in the blog.
It is all because of the laziness in my body, running everywhere throughout my body from head to toe.
The long 4-mths holidays had marked an end, and i already started a new life in Liverpool. Which mean, i have to continue to study again.
After so long, i dunno is it ok for me to pick up myself in study.
It was about preparing the resit paper... Den, unknown direction...
Dunno could i pass the paper even i know how to do. Just worried about the paper, maybe the lecturer purposely to mark strictly.. Or.... etc
I could felt the strong heart beat when i was checking my result..
Thanks God, i had passed the paper and immediately to prepare myself to Liverpool...
During that time, my maid's contract terminated and have to help mum for house works at home...
After sitting n eating at home for months, it's really tiring to work so 'hard' everyday... I'm sure that my stamina had reduced tremendously...
I felt tired..... zzz
Until the eve before i depart to Liverpool...
I felt a lot ppl concerning on me. My aunts & uncles kept calling to me, chatting to me...
My aunts even on-leave just to send me to airport... Oh no!!!!!
Thousands of thank you in my heart to them... =)
[Hmm, honestly, i not really wan to leave MAS]
The moment the aeroplane departed from KLIA, my tears well up in my eyes.
I wished to stay... That is somewhere belongs to me, and i have all my thing there..
Family, friends, and everything.........
During the 1st night here, i really felt the loneliness when i turn off the light and prepared to sleep...
Felt to cry again... ;'(
I couldnt believe i had become such a gal.... I was so tough......
Maybe a cancer does really love home.
There was none excitement grown in my heart even the moment i arrived in London airport.. >.<
Sorry for tat, not to show off or anything...
During the 1st few days, i saw planes flying above the sky...
I was thinking, when would i take plane again and back to somewhere i belong to?
After a week, i had settled down, and getting used to here...
And yet, in my mind.. i still wish the arrival of the day to return home.
At here, white men everywhere.. Sometimes, i couldnt understand what they talked to me. Learning the new culture...
Shops shut in the evening, probably no night life...
silent streets since around 8pm... Cool weather~~~ bread meals...
It isnt hard for me to suit myself into a new life...
But i do really miss home...
Here, i get new friends.. but i dun really talk much to them...
I miss my best friends....
Maybe, i'd love the life here.. soon, or never...
Just wish that i'd experience sth here before i leave...
=)
It is all because of the laziness in my body, running everywhere throughout my body from head to toe.
The long 4-mths holidays had marked an end, and i already started a new life in Liverpool. Which mean, i have to continue to study again.
After so long, i dunno is it ok for me to pick up myself in study.
It was about preparing the resit paper... Den, unknown direction...
Dunno could i pass the paper even i know how to do. Just worried about the paper, maybe the lecturer purposely to mark strictly.. Or.... etc
I could felt the strong heart beat when i was checking my result..
Thanks God, i had passed the paper and immediately to prepare myself to Liverpool...
During that time, my maid's contract terminated and have to help mum for house works at home...
After sitting n eating at home for months, it's really tiring to work so 'hard' everyday... I'm sure that my stamina had reduced tremendously...
I felt tired..... zzz
Until the eve before i depart to Liverpool...
I felt a lot ppl concerning on me. My aunts & uncles kept calling to me, chatting to me...
My aunts even on-leave just to send me to airport... Oh no!!!!!
Thousands of thank you in my heart to them... =)
[Hmm, honestly, i not really wan to leave MAS]
The moment the aeroplane departed from KLIA, my tears well up in my eyes.
I wished to stay... That is somewhere belongs to me, and i have all my thing there..
Family, friends, and everything.........
During the 1st night here, i really felt the loneliness when i turn off the light and prepared to sleep...
Felt to cry again... ;'(
I couldnt believe i had become such a gal.... I was so tough......
Maybe a cancer does really love home.
There was none excitement grown in my heart even the moment i arrived in London airport.. >.<
Sorry for tat, not to show off or anything...
During the 1st few days, i saw planes flying above the sky...
I was thinking, when would i take plane again and back to somewhere i belong to?
After a week, i had settled down, and getting used to here...
And yet, in my mind.. i still wish the arrival of the day to return home.
At here, white men everywhere.. Sometimes, i couldnt understand what they talked to me. Learning the new culture...
Shops shut in the evening, probably no night life...
silent streets since around 8pm... Cool weather~~~ bread meals...
It isnt hard for me to suit myself into a new life...
But i do really miss home...
Here, i get new friends.. but i dun really talk much to them...
I miss my best friends....
Maybe, i'd love the life here.. soon, or never...
Just wish that i'd experience sth here before i leave...
=)
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
天水圍的日與夜
天水圍的日與夜 -- 是一部香港電影，講述香港某一個平窮地區 -- 天水圍的生活故事。
就在金像獎以前得知了這一部戯，獲悉是部蠻有意義的戯。
一直都很想看。前陣子在KL的時候曾經試過在 PP Stream 找，可是找不到。
今天朋友告訴我有了。
今天剛剛從KL回來，很累，不想做東西，所以就看了這一部戯。
這電影的拍攝手法，過於簡單，往往就是單一個鏡頭，主角在那裏幹活。
就這樣，樸實的生活。
這電影讓我想到很多。自己、父母、弟妹、朋友、等等等等......
那些感觸一時湧上心頭。。
覺得自己的生活無聊，沒意義
害怕別人忘恩負義，深怕自己不飲水思源
將來老了，是否孤獨一人
以後，我會有一番作爲嗎？
很多很多。。。。
原本想寫，很長，很長，關於電影的觀後感。
後來跟媽媽聊聊，就這樣忘記了。。。
或許，大家都該看看，或許會有另一番體會。
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
一个月
好想睡觉，因为觉得不舒服。可是，就是睡不着。
就忽然想来这里写东西。
一个月前，我把一段原本不想开始的恋情，弄得越来越模糊。
后来我觉得，不如就试一试，反正，好像已经回不了头。
就这样，我们开始了。
或许经过一段还算漫长的过渡期，所以我并不觉得生活上起了多大的变化。
只是，现在是名正言顺，出街、单独相处等。
在这以前，我已经好一段时间没有跟朋友分享我生活的点滴。
他的出现，让我开始与人分享我的生活。
直到现在，我们之间分享的东西，更多了。
对于这一段感情，坦白说，我没有很大的信心。
因为我总是认为，两个恋人需要长期相处，要在一起生活。
而我们，为了升学，或许需要几年以后才可以一起生活。
或许，我们根本到达不了这一点。
现在，想得没那么长远，然而还是抱着一线希望。
还没开始以前，想了很多。
开始以后，好像没想了。
望，一切安好。
生活，是充满变数的。
就忽然想来这里写东西。
一个月前，我把一段原本不想开始的恋情，弄得越来越模糊。
后来我觉得，不如就试一试，反正，好像已经回不了头。
就这样，我们开始了。
或许经过一段还算漫长的过渡期，所以我并不觉得生活上起了多大的变化。
只是，现在是名正言顺，出街、单独相处等。
在这以前，我已经好一段时间没有跟朋友分享我生活的点滴。
他的出现，让我开始与人分享我的生活。
直到现在，我们之间分享的东西，更多了。
对于这一段感情，坦白说，我没有很大的信心。
因为我总是认为，两个恋人需要长期相处，要在一起生活。
而我们，为了升学，或许需要几年以后才可以一起生活。
或许，我们根本到达不了这一点。
现在，想得没那么长远，然而还是抱着一线希望。
还没开始以前，想了很多。
开始以后，好像没想了。
望，一切安好。
生活，是充满变数的。
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
忽然
忽然，很想在这里写一写
其实，想写很久了，脑海里的情绪一直搁浅
然后，忘记
忽然，很害怕自己去不了英国
因为，我的其中一科不及格了
然而，还是吊儿郎当
忽然，开始从新追戏
其实，是妹妹要我一起看
不然，我不会这么快就快看完
忽然，领悟到，看戏真的可以霸占我一整天的时间
其实，我觉得很恐怖
好像，我的岁月就这样蹉跎了
忽然，我的‘老鼠’死了
其实，是弟弟闹着玩，把线给剪断了
当然，我真的很伤心，我捉着他打
忽然，不想睡觉
因为，刚才心情不好，出去吃了宵夜
其实，是挂念他
忽然，真的觉得自己空虚
因为，我好像不知道自己过着什么样的日子
只是，我只能等待从生的那一天
======================================================================== **
很多事情，可以发生得忽然
很多事情，无法在我们的撑控之内
很多很多的事情发生了，一天以内，却又好像什么也没做
废废的日子，过得好难受
只是，我也没有勇气提出我想要的生活
我也没在受限的范围找出属于我的一片天空
其实，想写很久了，脑海里的情绪一直搁浅
然后，忘记
忽然，很害怕自己去不了英国
因为，我的其中一科不及格了
然而，还是吊儿郎当
忽然，开始从新追戏
其实，是妹妹要我一起看
不然，我不会这么快就快看完
忽然，领悟到，看戏真的可以霸占我一整天的时间
其实，我觉得很恐怖
好像，我的岁月就这样蹉跎了
忽然，我的‘老鼠’死了
其实，是弟弟闹着玩，把线给剪断了
当然，我真的很伤心，我捉着他打
忽然，不想睡觉
因为，刚才心情不好，出去吃了宵夜
其实，是挂念他
忽然，真的觉得自己空虚
因为，我好像不知道自己过着什么样的日子
只是，我只能等待从生的那一天
======================================================================== **
很多事情，可以发生得忽然
很多事情，无法在我们的撑控之内
很多很多的事情发生了，一天以内，却又好像什么也没做
废废的日子，过得好难受
只是，我也没有勇气提出我想要的生活
我也没在受限的范围找出属于我的一片天空
Monday, March 2, 2009
Recently....
It seems like been a long time i dont update myself here..
I'm having my long long vacation in my hometown.
We always hope for vacation when we are too busy with something and feel tired.
And yet, i know myself quite well that i dont hope for such a long holiday.
I think, it might be just right enough if it is just a 1 month holiday.
Maybe i would only require for a longer holiday if i could monitor and schedule the holiday myself.
It is just right one month time since the CNY.
I have been wasting my time doing sth meaningless.
I would want to do sth else, but... It seems like couldnt as i know my mum would not allow me to do so~~
hope to learn sth else, but. what to learn?
Wanna do nth, but. Would be scolded non-stop by parents.
Wanna go on trips, but. No money n parents say, it is yet the time for me to enjoy.
Wanna work, but. My sister working now, and i think i should stay at home to assist my mum at least a little bit. (maybe i think too much..)
... ...
... ...
I'm having my long long vacation in my hometown.
We always hope for vacation when we are too busy with something and feel tired.
And yet, i know myself quite well that i dont hope for such a long holiday.
I think, it might be just right enough if it is just a 1 month holiday.
Maybe i would only require for a longer holiday if i could monitor and schedule the holiday myself.
It is just right one month time since the CNY.
I have been wasting my time doing sth meaningless.
I would want to do sth else, but... It seems like couldnt as i know my mum would not allow me to do so~~
hope to learn sth else, but. what to learn?
Wanna do nth, but. Would be scolded non-stop by parents.
Wanna go on trips, but. No money n parents say, it is yet the time for me to enjoy.
Wanna work, but. My sister working now, and i think i should stay at home to assist my mum at least a little bit. (maybe i think too much..)
... ...
... ...
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Friendship~
= Em, this post is sth i wanted to write for quite some time. =
Over the years since i started to online, i started to write out sth about myself online. Even it is quite unsecured and being published to public, yet i still write it out.
I have forgotten why did i do so, but now, it is certainly because of lazy to write and have forgotten lots of the words especially chinese words.
During the secondary school, i think friendship is quite important to everyone. It might be more important than ur family as it was the treachery period. And most of my time was spending with my friends. Slowly, u would have a gang of friend.
It is so called "best friend"
For sure, i do have a group of friends. We were very very big gang, we always hang out tgt in school. It was looked like gangster.. And yet, it decreases slowly~~
Within the group, of course there are still sub groups...
I could remember, i wrote quite a number of 'articles' about friendship...
Time doesnt wait nor stop, finally we left our secondary school towards our dream and future.
At first, we would say...
Wish not to be apart with each other..
Wish... ; Wish... ... .. etc.
Slowly when time passes, u might forget ur old friends....
I'm quite lucky as i did not lose them but keep them beside me until now.
Recently, most of my friends find their partner.
I do wish them the best luck sincerely from my heart.
And yet, i found that i am losing them...
My friends seem like going more and more far away from me..
Actually i have understand the situation quite some time ago between it happens between my friends and i..
Thus i never say anything...
I remember, one of my friends said, we are such a good friend, as we put each other in the heart then it is enough.(Should be sth like this)
Yup, I was quite admit with that. But as time goes, i found that...
It isnt! No matter wat kind of relationship, it needs ur heart to develop them.
Friends, family, love one. We have to take care on them, it also need to be feed to keep growing.
Maybe i also dont divide my time evenly. I found i actually losing quite a lot of friends... The one who i can find to chat with getting lesser n lesser..
When we grow up, we are handling more and more thing
working/studying which is almost conquer all ur life, den u will spend the rest of the time with ur partner.. After tat it is family and friends will be the last one..
Therefore, as u getting older, u found that u getting lesser friend.
Thus, it is rarely to heard friends from parents.
Maybe, i still need friends~
不再友谊永固，只希望常青 ^^
Over the years since i started to online, i started to write out sth about myself online. Even it is quite unsecured and being published to public, yet i still write it out.
I have forgotten why did i do so, but now, it is certainly because of lazy to write and have forgotten lots of the words especially chinese words.
During the secondary school, i think friendship is quite important to everyone. It might be more important than ur family as it was the treachery period. And most of my time was spending with my friends. Slowly, u would have a gang of friend.
It is so called "best friend"
For sure, i do have a group of friends. We were very very big gang, we always hang out tgt in school. It was looked like gangster.. And yet, it decreases slowly~~
Within the group, of course there are still sub groups...
I could remember, i wrote quite a number of 'articles' about friendship...
Time doesnt wait nor stop, finally we left our secondary school towards our dream and future.
At first, we would say...
Wish not to be apart with each other..
Wish... ; Wish... ... .. etc.
Slowly when time passes, u might forget ur old friends....
I'm quite lucky as i did not lose them but keep them beside me until now.
Recently, most of my friends find their partner.
I do wish them the best luck sincerely from my heart.
And yet, i found that i am losing them...
My friends seem like going more and more far away from me..
Actually i have understand the situation quite some time ago between it happens between my friends and i..
Thus i never say anything...
I remember, one of my friends said, we are such a good friend, as we put each other in the heart then it is enough.(Should be sth like this)
Yup, I was quite admit with that. But as time goes, i found that...
It isnt! No matter wat kind of relationship, it needs ur heart to develop them.
Friends, family, love one. We have to take care on them, it also need to be feed to keep growing.
Maybe i also dont divide my time evenly. I found i actually losing quite a lot of friends... The one who i can find to chat with getting lesser n lesser..
When we grow up, we are handling more and more thing
working/studying which is almost conquer all ur life, den u will spend the rest of the time with ur partner.. After tat it is family and friends will be the last one..
Therefore, as u getting older, u found that u getting lesser friend.
Thus, it is rarely to heard friends from parents.
Maybe, i still need friends~
不再友谊永固，只希望常青 ^^
Sunday, February 8, 2009
年龄 · 健康
年龄，其实是一个很可怕的东西。
以前常听说，年龄是所有女人的秘密。
以前不明白当中的原因，现在，好像都明白了。
渐渐，发现自己老了。身体，生理……
开始想要照顾、保养自己的身体，深怕一天就这样无疾而终
这两天都在医院里进出，拥有更深的体会。
今天，诊所里的病人还挺多的。
我也不想坐，一直站在那里观察。
放眼看去，都是银发一族。
我看着他们，一个又一个，突然。。。
我想到了我自己，我的那一天，我到底会是怎样的？！
心中忽然一寒！ 我想不下去了。
人总是害怕自己老去。
然而，人又怎能战胜时间，保着健康？
我维持着迟睡迟起的习惯很久了，试想，何来健康？！
虽然老了，但是我还可以看见老板牵着老伴的画面。
这就是执子之手，与子偕老。
一股暖意涌上心头，很自然地。
当初的承诺，维持至今，无论贫富，健康与否。
以前常听说，年龄是所有女人的秘密。
以前不明白当中的原因，现在，好像都明白了。
渐渐，发现自己老了。身体，生理……
开始想要照顾、保养自己的身体，深怕一天就这样无疾而终
这两天都在医院里进出，拥有更深的体会。
今天，诊所里的病人还挺多的。
我也不想坐，一直站在那里观察。
放眼看去，都是银发一族。
我看着他们，一个又一个，突然。。。
我想到了我自己，我的那一天，我到底会是怎样的？！
心中忽然一寒！ 我想不下去了。
人总是害怕自己老去。
然而，人又怎能战胜时间，保着健康？
我维持着迟睡迟起的习惯很久了，试想，何来健康？！
虽然老了，但是我还可以看见老板牵着老伴的画面。
这就是执子之手，与子偕老。
一股暖意涌上心头，很自然地。
当初的承诺，维持至今，无论贫富，健康与否。
Thursday, February 5, 2009
5th Feb '09
现在的我觉得很累！
今天在医院呆了半天。（带婆婆去做MRI)
其实也没有严重的事情，只是白内障手术前的检查
在那里看人来人往，听是听非。
医院里，真的有很多很多的人。
早上九点前，妈妈就把我给叫醒。
还说了几句。情绪从此有点懊恼。
原本以为昨晚可以解决问题，后来才发现，或许我期望太高了。
我终于明白，很多时候都是女生想太多。
女生觉得问题出现时，男生往往都认为没问题。
我终于领悟了。
我有点失望，或许他给不到我想要的答案吧。
自己又不懂得解决。。。
今天在医院呆了半天。（带婆婆去做MRI)
其实也没有严重的事情，只是白内障手术前的检查
在那里看人来人往，听是听非。
医院里，真的有很多很多的人。
早上九点前，妈妈就把我给叫醒。
还说了几句。情绪从此有点懊恼。
原本以为昨晚可以解决问题，后来才发现，或许我期望太高了。
我终于明白，很多时候都是女生想太多。
女生觉得问题出现时，男生往往都认为没问题。
我终于领悟了。
我有点失望，或许他给不到我想要的答案吧。
自己又不懂得解决。。。
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Happy CNY!!! ^^
Happy CNY!! It is an Ox year... Without my concern, it is already the 6th day of CNY, the time flies and i have been staying at home for one week..
I had moved all my stuff back from KL as i finished my Advanced Diploma course. Now,i have my long long vacation. I dont know what could i do, however. I wish to do nth but enjoy, yet my mum said :: i never say to rest but you???!!!!
I wanted to say, i was really tired throughout the last semester especially during December. But,i could expect her answer.. So i better keep in silence.
Today,finally i start a little bit of my tidying job. I took out all my thing from my drawers and found a lot of funny thing. I'd re-read all the letters and cards when i'm free ^^ Beside that, i also found my long lost collection...
These are my old cassettesss~~ i thought they were lost..
But they are actually in my drawer... wakakkakakaa!!!
Must take out to listen when bored.. ^^
These booklets are the gift from 少年
last time i like to read them.. But i forgot d
I was really surprise when i see this collection..
OMG~~!!!
And.... Sth i bring along to school daily....
Wakakakakkakakkakaaa~
Anyway, these few thing i had thrown them away lo...
Cos, is useless and nth to do with them anymore...
Tidying the old thing really some kind of fun during ur spare time.
Hahaa~ But i still have a lot of thing to tidy... I brought so many thing back from KL >,<>
Hahaa~ But i still have a lot of thing to tidy... I brought so many thing back from KL >,<>
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Forgiveness and Punishment
Normally i couldnt remember what i have dreamed last night after few moments from my bed
The 1st dream was, i found there is another car park in Mid Valley which i believe it doesnt exist.
I couldnt get any parking lot in the dream and my friends brought me to that car park.
And when we are leaving, one of my friends ask me to go for meal in Times Square
It is Korean food, i was dilly dallying should i go? Should i bring him along?
The point is, i do not like to eat korean food.. i think this is the reason i dilly dally in the dream.....
While the 2nd dream is about the dissertation. I dreamed of the friends who i just know them from ProDeX, we might be just talk with each other for few words since then...
It is quite funny to dream of them..
I dreamed one of them who might score A for his Dissertation...
I recall this dream when reading an article about Forgiveness n Punishment from Cleo (Dec)
The words seem like inspired me something..
Which i dont know how to express..
Anyhow, i think it is better for us to forgive someone rather than punish him/her by gossip, backbiting or outright revenge..
I think i'm self-blaming for not studying the last whole night
The environment was noisy and i couldnt concentrate on myself
And, i'm quite annoyed by that..until now....
I still couldnt get back the study mood by just sitting in front of my laptop...
Sigh~ I should forgive it but not to punish myself for not studying and subsequently do badly in exam....
I shouldnt!!!
I must go after my schedule.... ^^
The 1st dream was, i found there is another car park in Mid Valley which i believe it doesnt exist.
I couldnt get any parking lot in the dream and my friends brought me to that car park.
And when we are leaving, one of my friends ask me to go for meal in Times Square
It is Korean food, i was dilly dallying should i go? Should i bring him along?
The point is, i do not like to eat korean food.. i think this is the reason i dilly dally in the dream.....
While the 2nd dream is about the dissertation. I dreamed of the friends who i just know them from ProDeX, we might be just talk with each other for few words since then...
It is quite funny to dream of them..
I dreamed one of them who might score A for his Dissertation...
I recall this dream when reading an article about Forgiveness n Punishment from Cleo (Dec)
The words seem like inspired me something..
Which i dont know how to express..
Anyhow, i think it is better for us to forgive someone rather than punish him/her by gossip, backbiting or outright revenge..
I think i'm self-blaming for not studying the last whole night
The environment was noisy and i couldnt concentrate on myself
And, i'm quite annoyed by that..until now....
I still couldnt get back the study mood by just sitting in front of my laptop...
Sigh~ I should forgive it but not to punish myself for not studying and subsequently do badly in exam....
I shouldnt!!!
I must go after my schedule.... ^^
Submissions...
It is the last week of my last semester, and it drew an end today
Finally i have submitted all the assignments as well as my dissertation
=)
I thought i would be very happy with that as the burden being gave off
And yet, i didnt feel any happiness in me
It is just like the same..
I still dont feel well with my current situation.
There is another exam waiting me ahead which is starting in short time
Up to now, i still do not start any revision yet
Nth to do
What to do
How to do
=(
What's happening.. so sad n moodless
Finally i have submitted all the assignments as well as my dissertation
=)
I thought i would be very happy with that as the burden being gave off
And yet, i didnt feel any happiness in me
It is just like the same..
I still dont feel well with my current situation.
There is another exam waiting me ahead which is starting in short time
Up to now, i still do not start any revision yet
Nth to do
What to do
How to do
=(
What's happening.. so sad n moodless
Sunday, January 4, 2009
话题人物 :: 他与我
最近，我成了同学们的话题人物。每一天都在谈论着。
其实还蛮害怕的，因为我不曾因为这样的事情，而让人谈论着。
昨天半夜，我被朋友叫出去喝茶，最终，被逼供了。
我以为他们不会问我。是我太傻，太天真了。
不知道从什么时候开始，他找我的次数多了。
一开始，我觉得朋友，还好。渐渐地，友情好像开始慢慢地变化。
我察觉了，可是，我不敢肯定。我当没事发生。
因为我最想要的，便是维持好朋友的关系。
最重要的是，我没有心理准备进入一段爱情；还有，我无法确定他的举动。
我们一起sms的次数更多了，但是他还是一样没有行动，我继续保持沉默。
我们一起出去的时间也多了。
人潮中，大家在一起玩乐；人潮以外，我们会聊些私人话题。
当然，都是他开始。我也只是回答，反正没事的。
后来，朋友有开始说，你们俩最近好像很好。
当然都没有否认，只是我们真的是朋友。
话题开始流传。。。。。。。
一直到圣诞前夕，我们的BBQ派对。如我所料，我一定被人家玩死。
我，被灌醉了。可是意识依然清醒。我很晕很晕。
这时，他喝了很多。他开始呕吐，后来朋友们才开始灌我。
他大概帮我顶了一半的酒，如果不是，我应该会不省人事。
很晕很晕以后，我知道我已经倒在他的床上，我开始无法支撑自己。
后来是朋友扶我回家，我也呕了。
朋友们都说 “派对里，见证了一对情人的诞生” ； “派对里，看到了一个好男人”
我都一笑置之。我觉得，好男人应该不是这样断定。
几天后的一个夜晚，他一如往常sms我。
我开始料到，接下来的信息，到底会说些什么东西。
果真。然而，我拒绝了。一个很早以前就想好的理由。
<<我已经要离开这里，我不希望一个不能在我身边的男朋友，我不希望一段远距离的恋情。。。>>
这以后，他说，希望可以保持最近我们的那一段关系。我没有拒绝。
可是，好像跟进一步了。我，其实渐渐开始慌了。
人前的我，是如此的镇定，其实心里，觉得不好受。
我到底想要怎样。每一天，从早到晚，从晚到早的sms.....
嗯。。。。。。。我不知道接下来我要怎么走，只是还挺希望快点回家。
至少我不需要害怕在这里，我还会继续沉沦。
昨晚，朋友对我的逼供。我都否认了，可是原来他们知道了。
之前他们已经向他逼供！后来，还是得认了。
他们说 “他是个好男人，应该尝试。” 这一点，我想，我也清楚知道。只是尝试...
嗯，我不希望一段恋情在几个月后便消失。我觉得没意义，也浪费时间
他们说 “如果不要，就不要这么常找他，不要让他失望” 可是，即将考试，我不忍心在这个时候整死他。还有，不是我不要，只是他来得太迟。如果，一两个月前，应该还不错。
他们说 “请回家好好考虑” .........................................
回到家里，我看到他的留言，要我叫他起身。
我犹豫了，后来还是打了电话，叫他起身。
他说他很高兴，我看得懂他的暗语，可是其实我，不知所措。
看着他越来越多的甜言蜜语，我更不知如何是好。
或许我真的应该尝试，只是我还没有勇气踏出那第一步。
我还需要时间，让自己更确定，让自己更踏实。
其实还蛮害怕的，因为我不曾因为这样的事情，而让人谈论着。
昨天半夜，我被朋友叫出去喝茶，最终，被逼供了。
我以为他们不会问我。是我太傻，太天真了。
不知道从什么时候开始，他找我的次数多了。
一开始，我觉得朋友，还好。渐渐地，友情好像开始慢慢地变化。
我察觉了，可是，我不敢肯定。我当没事发生。
因为我最想要的，便是维持好朋友的关系。
最重要的是，我没有心理准备进入一段爱情；还有，我无法确定他的举动。
我们一起sms的次数更多了，但是他还是一样没有行动，我继续保持沉默。
我们一起出去的时间也多了。
人潮中，大家在一起玩乐；人潮以外，我们会聊些私人话题。
当然，都是他开始。我也只是回答，反正没事的。
后来，朋友有开始说，你们俩最近好像很好。
当然都没有否认，只是我们真的是朋友。
话题开始流传。。。。。。。
一直到圣诞前夕，我们的BBQ派对。如我所料，我一定被人家玩死。
我，被灌醉了。可是意识依然清醒。我很晕很晕。
这时，他喝了很多。他开始呕吐，后来朋友们才开始灌我。
他大概帮我顶了一半的酒，如果不是，我应该会不省人事。
很晕很晕以后，我知道我已经倒在他的床上，我开始无法支撑自己。
后来是朋友扶我回家，我也呕了。
朋友们都说 “派对里，见证了一对情人的诞生” ； “派对里，看到了一个好男人”
我都一笑置之。我觉得，好男人应该不是这样断定。
几天后的一个夜晚，他一如往常sms我。
我开始料到，接下来的信息，到底会说些什么东西。
果真。然而，我拒绝了。一个很早以前就想好的理由。
<<我已经要离开这里，我不希望一个不能在我身边的男朋友，我不希望一段远距离的恋情。。。>>
这以后，他说，希望可以保持最近我们的那一段关系。我没有拒绝。
可是，好像跟进一步了。我，其实渐渐开始慌了。
人前的我，是如此的镇定，其实心里，觉得不好受。
我到底想要怎样。每一天，从早到晚，从晚到早的sms.....
嗯。。。。。。。我不知道接下来我要怎么走，只是还挺希望快点回家。
至少我不需要害怕在这里，我还会继续沉沦。
昨晚，朋友对我的逼供。我都否认了，可是原来他们知道了。
之前他们已经向他逼供！后来，还是得认了。
他们说 “他是个好男人，应该尝试。” 这一点，我想，我也清楚知道。只是尝试...
嗯，我不希望一段恋情在几个月后便消失。我觉得没意义，也浪费时间
他们说 “如果不要，就不要这么常找他，不要让他失望” 可是，即将考试，我不忍心在这个时候整死他。还有，不是我不要，只是他来得太迟。如果，一两个月前，应该还不错。
他们说 “请回家好好考虑” .........................................
回到家里，我看到他的留言，要我叫他起身。
我犹豫了，后来还是打了电话，叫他起身。
他说他很高兴，我看得懂他的暗语，可是其实我，不知所措。
看着他越来越多的甜言蜜语，我更不知如何是好。
或许我真的应该尝试，只是我还没有勇气踏出那第一步。
我还需要时间，让自己更确定，让自己更踏实。
Friday, January 2, 2009
2009的愿望
嗯，好像很久没有在这里留下自己的足迹。
2009年了。跨年的那一晚，我忽然想到，到底2009年我有什么愿望？
我好像真的忙到什么都忘记了。。
可是，我有努力地在想，只是，我好像想不到任何愿望。
应该还是希望身边的人健康，快乐。
对于自己，好像也不知道要怎样。因为总是觉得，前路茫茫
我可以顺利毕业去英国？去了英国，我会怎样？我会继续深造还是？？。。。
一连串的未知数，所以我也不知道要怎样。
对于爱情，好像真的遇到了。可是那一天，我拒绝了。
只是依然保持着，朋友与情人间的关系。我真的不知道我想怎样！
感觉对不起他，但是。。。
嗯，很累！一连串的庆祝活动，疯狂以后，很累很累！！
很爱睡了 zzz
2009年了。跨年的那一晚，我忽然想到，到底2009年我有什么愿望？
我好像真的忙到什么都忘记了。。
可是，我有努力地在想，只是，我好像想不到任何愿望。
应该还是希望身边的人健康，快乐。
对于自己，好像也不知道要怎样。因为总是觉得，前路茫茫
我可以顺利毕业去英国？去了英国，我会怎样？我会继续深造还是？？。。。
一连串的未知数，所以我也不知道要怎样。
对于爱情，好像真的遇到了。可是那一天，我拒绝了。
只是依然保持着，朋友与情人间的关系。我真的不知道我想怎样！
感觉对不起他，但是。。。
嗯，很累！一连串的庆祝活动，疯狂以后，很累很累！！
很爱睡了 zzz
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