Happy CNY!!! ^^

Happy CNY!! It is an Ox year... Without my concern, it is already the 6th day of CNY, the time flies and i have been staying at home for one week..
I had moved all my stuff back from KL as i finished my Advanced Diploma course. Now,i have my long long vacation. I dont know what could i do, however. I wish to do nth but enjoy, yet my mum said :: i never say to rest but you???!!!!
I wanted to say, i was really tired throughout the last semester especially during December. But,i could expect her answer.. So i better keep in silence.

Today,finally i start a little bit of my tidying job. I took out all my thing from my drawers and found a lot of funny thing. I'd re-read all the letters and cards when i'm free ^^ Beside that, i also found my long lost collection...

These are my old cassettesss~~ i thought they were lost..
But they are actually in my drawer... wakakkakakaa!!!
Must take out to listen when bored.. ^^

These booklets are the gift from 少年
last time i like to read them.. But i forgot d
I was really surprise when i see this collection..
OMG~~!!!

And.... Sth i bring along to school daily....
Wakakakakkakakkakaaa~
Anyway, these few thing i had thrown them away lo...
Cos, is useless and nth to do with them anymore...

Tidying the old thing really some kind of fun during ur spare time.
Hahaa~ But i still have a lot of thing to tidy... I brought so many thing back from KL >,<>

Forgiveness and Punishment

Normally i couldnt remember what i have dreamed last night after few moments from my bed
The 1st dream was, i found there is another car park in Mid Valley which i believe it doesnt exist.
I couldnt get any parking lot in the dream and my friends brought me to that car park.
And when we are leaving, one of my friends ask me to go for meal in Times Square
It is Korean food, i was dilly dallying should i go? Should i bring him along?
The point is, i do not like to eat korean food.. i think this is the reason i dilly dally in the dream.....

While the 2nd dream is about the dissertation. I dreamed of the friends who i just know them from ProDeX, we might be just talk with each other for few words since then...
It is quite funny to dream of them..
I dreamed one of them who might score A for his Dissertation...
I recall this dream when reading an article about Forgiveness n Punishment from Cleo (Dec)

The words seem like inspired me something..
Which i dont know how to express..
Anyhow, i think it is better for us to forgive someone rather than punish him/her by gossip, backbiting or outright revenge..

I think i'm self-blaming for not studying the last whole night
The environment was noisy and i couldnt concentrate on myself
And, i'm quite annoyed by that..until now....
I still couldnt get back the study mood by just sitting in front of my laptop...
Sigh~ I should forgive it but not to punish myself for not studying and subsequently do badly in exam....
I shouldnt!!!
I must go after my schedule.... ^^

Submissions...

It is the last week of my last semester, and it drew an end today
Finally i have submitted all the assignments as well as my dissertation
=)
I thought i would be very happy with that as the burden being gave off
And yet, i didnt feel any happiness in me
It is just like the same..
I still dont feel well with my current situation.
There is another exam waiting me ahead which is starting in short time
Up to now, i still do not start any revision yet
Nth to do
What to do
How to do
=(
What's happening.. so sad n moodless

话题人物 :: 他与我

最近，我成了同学们的话题人物。每一天都在谈论着。
其实还蛮害怕的，因为我不曾因为这样的事情，而让人谈论着。
昨天半夜，我被朋友叫出去喝茶，最终，被逼供了。
我以为他们不会问我。是我太傻，太天真了。

不知道从什么时候开始，他找我的次数多了。
一开始，我觉得朋友，还好。渐渐地，友情好像开始慢慢地变化。
我察觉了，可是，我不敢肯定。我当没事发生。
因为我最想要的，便是维持好朋友的关系。
最重要的是，我没有心理准备进入一段爱情；还有，我无法确定他的举动。
我们一起sms的次数更多了，但是他还是一样没有行动，我继续保持沉默。
我们一起出去的时间也多了。
人潮中，大家在一起玩乐；人潮以外，我们会聊些私人话题。
当然，都是他开始。我也只是回答，反正没事的。
后来，朋友有开始说，你们俩最近好像很好。
当然都没有否认，只是我们真的是朋友。
话题开始流传。。。。。。。
一直到圣诞前夕，我们的BBQ派对。如我所料，我一定被人家玩死。
我，被灌醉了。可是意识依然清醒。我很晕很晕。
这时，他喝了很多。他开始呕吐，后来朋友们才开始灌我。
他大概帮我顶了一半的酒，如果不是，我应该会不省人事。
很晕很晕以后，我知道我已经倒在他的床上，我开始无法支撑自己。
后来是朋友扶我回家，我也呕了。
朋友们都说 “派对里，见证了一对情人的诞生” ； “派对里，看到了一个好男人”
我都一笑置之。我觉得，好男人应该不是这样断定。
几天后的一个夜晚，他一如往常sms我。
我开始料到，接下来的信息，到底会说些什么东西。
果真。然而，我拒绝了。一个很早以前就想好的理由。
<<我已经要离开这里，我不希望一个不能在我身边的男朋友，我不希望一段远距离的恋情。。。>>
这以后，他说，希望可以保持最近我们的那一段关系。我没有拒绝。
可是，好像跟进一步了。我，其实渐渐开始慌了。
人前的我，是如此的镇定，其实心里，觉得不好受。
我到底想要怎样。每一天，从早到晚，从晚到早的sms.....
嗯。。。。。。。我不知道接下来我要怎么走，只是还挺希望快点回家。
至少我不需要害怕在这里，我还会继续沉沦。

昨晚，朋友对我的逼供。我都否认了，可是原来他们知道了。
之前他们已经向他逼供！后来，还是得认了。
他们说 “他是个好男人，应该尝试。” 这一点，我想，我也清楚知道。只是尝试...
嗯，我不希望一段恋情在几个月后便消失。我觉得没意义，也浪费时间
他们说 “如果不要，就不要这么常找他，不要让他失望” 可是，即将考试，我不忍心在这个时候整死他。还有，不是我不要，只是他来得太迟。如果，一两个月前，应该还不错。
他们说 “请回家好好考虑” .........................................

回到家里，我看到他的留言，要我叫他起身。
我犹豫了，后来还是打了电话，叫他起身。
他说他很高兴，我看得懂他的暗语，可是其实我，不知所措。
看着他越来越多的甜言蜜语，我更不知如何是好。
或许我真的应该尝试，只是我还没有勇气踏出那第一步。
我还需要时间，让自己更确定，让自己更踏实。

2009的愿望

嗯，好像很久没有在这里留下自己的足迹。
2009年了。跨年的那一晚，我忽然想到，到底2009年我有什么愿望？
我好像真的忙到什么都忘记了。。
可是，我有努力地在想，只是，我好像想不到任何愿望。
应该还是希望身边的人健康，快乐。
对于自己，好像也不知道要怎样。因为总是觉得，前路茫茫
我可以顺利毕业去英国？去了英国，我会怎样？我会继续深造还是？？。。。
一连串的未知数，所以我也不知道要怎样。
对于爱情，好像真的遇到了。可是那一天，我拒绝了。
只是依然保持着，朋友与情人间的关系。我真的不知道我想怎样！
感觉对不起他，但是。。。

嗯，很累！一连串的庆祝活动，疯狂以后，很累很累！！
很爱睡了 zzz