不是夜猫子，都不会明白夜晚的魅力，尤其夜深人静时。
最近的我，都好想好好地享受我的夜晚。想做一些属于自己的东西，无论什么。
最近的我，好想找回为自己而活的日子。我觉得，我好像失去了自己。我不要被人支配。
最近的我，好想念从前的哪一个自己。一个人，大地任我遨游。
昨晚，在其他人的部落格里看到一句话。最喧闹的时候，便是我内心最安静的时候。
马上，我便了解当中的意思。把自己掩埋在人群中，其实是自己最寂寞的时候。
不开心的时候，在人群中，你看人来人往，你一句，我一句，此刻，便是你可以什么都不想的时候。
把自己的寂寞掩埋在喧闹里，把自己套上面具。做一个，自己相当的另一个自己。
往前走，遗忘了以前的自己，后悔把它留在记忆中，我想到记忆库里找回自己。
一个人逛街
一个人吃最简单的一餐
一个人闷在家里
一个人在夜里荡秋千
一个人游泳
一个人去巴刹
一个认为自己准备食物
一个人听音乐
一个人看书
一个人的房间
一个人的生活
或许，一个人会好过两个人。
一个人并不孤单，两个人的寂寞，让人唏嘘
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Summary of 2009
好像很快，2009的尾声，近在眼前。
我的脑，还停留在盘算圣诞节时的一切。
年底，第二次生病了。同样的病，同一个月份，两次。
2009，发生了很多很多东西
第一次 · 恋爱
第一次 · 踏足英国
第一次 · 自助自由行
第一次 · 做工
第一次 · 被家人搞得遍体鳞伤
我还记得，曾经有一位老师说过。
其实不是喜不喜欢，爱不爱，而是给不给对方机会。
我一直觉得如是，然而却不明白。
现在，好像终于参透了。
机会，我给了双方，跨出那一步，实语，是挣扎的。
一路走去，时而晴朗，时而阴暗。
曾经，柳暗花明又一村。
崎岖的路，使我看不见前方，但我习与为之。
船到桥都自然直，在某些时刻，我该懂得为自己做决定。
我还记得，飞机起飞时，眼泪流下时，我知道我不舍得。
我更知道，自己对于此程，没有太大的兴趣。
我不舍得，我的家人，我的朋友。。。。还有这里的一切。
去到哪里，我知道我不会一个人留在那里。
我心中明白到，我不能够一个人伸出异乡，无依无靠。即使一个朋友都没！
虽然如此，我看到了很多，学到了一些，体会了不一样的东西。。。。。
回来以后，偶然还是挂念在那里的日子。
或许，某天，我会回去。
以前，一直憧憬，一个人的背包旅行。
虽然我觉得，自己好像已经不太可能实现这么伟大的梦。
然而，却圆了一半的梦。跟朋友一起自助旅行。
在英国，我们去了很多的地方，虽说自助，可是自己好像都没下几分苦力。
我只是参与。真正的自助旅行，是在夏天结束之前，伦敦和香港之旅。
哪一个旅行，是我第二次去伦敦和香港，我更了解，及更认识这两个地方了。
^^
结束暑假课程，回到家里不久，我便开始工作。
因为我不想再有丝毫拖延。
一，我可以收更多的钱，如果我会继续深造。
二，暑假课程之前，我有四个月的假期。
开始工作以后，有点无法适从，我失去了时间上的自由。
我不能在周日去逛街，看戏。。。 所有的事情，必须在周末或假日。
工作无法专心，正facebook,副工作。
我想，我要改掉着一个习惯。
我应该更积极面对自己的工作，更努力进取一些。
工作以后，我的生活，好像都改变了。
我好像从此没了靠山。。。
妈妈犹如债主般要钱，我不知该往哪儿跑。
一次又一次，眼泪直下，无法制止。
一次又一次的心疼，狠心的一刀又一刀。
我无言，不想表达任何一页。
我想，我该确确实实地说出自己所想要，狠狠地决定。
我想，我喜欢上了英国，在我离开以后。
我想，我会去更多地方游走，首先，马来西亚。
我想，我该即刻改过自新，全心投入工作。
我想，自己才是最终可以依靠的人，无需向人低头。
人随着时间长大，明白的，渐多。
失去的，免提。
想要的，期待着。
愿，一切随心如意，安好，顺利。
我只想顺其自然，不要麻烦地安排。
我的脑，还停留在盘算圣诞节时的一切。
年底，第二次生病了。同样的病，同一个月份，两次。
2009，发生了很多很多东西
第一次 · 恋爱
第一次 · 踏足英国
第一次 · 自助自由行
第一次 · 做工
第一次 · 被家人搞得遍体鳞伤
我还记得，曾经有一位老师说过。
其实不是喜不喜欢，爱不爱，而是给不给对方机会。
我一直觉得如是，然而却不明白。
现在，好像终于参透了。
机会，我给了双方，跨出那一步，实语，是挣扎的。
一路走去，时而晴朗，时而阴暗。
曾经，柳暗花明又一村。
崎岖的路，使我看不见前方，但我习与为之。
船到桥都自然直，在某些时刻，我该懂得为自己做决定。
我还记得，飞机起飞时，眼泪流下时，我知道我不舍得。
我更知道，自己对于此程，没有太大的兴趣。
我不舍得，我的家人，我的朋友。。。。还有这里的一切。
去到哪里，我知道我不会一个人留在那里。
我心中明白到，我不能够一个人伸出异乡，无依无靠。即使一个朋友都没！
虽然如此，我看到了很多，学到了一些，体会了不一样的东西。。。。。
回来以后，偶然还是挂念在那里的日子。
或许，某天，我会回去。
以前，一直憧憬，一个人的背包旅行。
虽然我觉得，自己好像已经不太可能实现这么伟大的梦。
然而，却圆了一半的梦。跟朋友一起自助旅行。
在英国，我们去了很多的地方，虽说自助，可是自己好像都没下几分苦力。
我只是参与。真正的自助旅行，是在夏天结束之前，伦敦和香港之旅。
哪一个旅行，是我第二次去伦敦和香港，我更了解，及更认识这两个地方了。
^^
结束暑假课程，回到家里不久，我便开始工作。
因为我不想再有丝毫拖延。
一，我可以收更多的钱，如果我会继续深造。
二，暑假课程之前，我有四个月的假期。
开始工作以后，有点无法适从，我失去了时间上的自由。
我不能在周日去逛街，看戏。。。 所有的事情，必须在周末或假日。
工作无法专心，正facebook,副工作。
我想，我要改掉着一个习惯。
我应该更积极面对自己的工作，更努力进取一些。
工作以后，我的生活，好像都改变了。
我好像从此没了靠山。。。
妈妈犹如债主般要钱，我不知该往哪儿跑。
一次又一次，眼泪直下，无法制止。
一次又一次的心疼，狠心的一刀又一刀。
我无言，不想表达任何一页。
我想，我该确确实实地说出自己所想要，狠狠地决定。
我想，我喜欢上了英国，在我离开以后。
我想，我会去更多地方游走，首先，马来西亚。
我想，我该即刻改过自新，全心投入工作。
我想，自己才是最终可以依靠的人，无需向人低头。
人随着时间长大，明白的，渐多。
失去的，免提。
想要的，期待着。
愿，一切随心如意，安好，顺利。
我只想顺其自然，不要麻烦地安排。
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Goh YanQi
Since I've back from UK, I've not been updating about myself in my blog
This is because the blog had occurred some error and i hope it's gone now.
i also not sure what to be written here, but i'm free in the office so i have the time to think =)
I didn't really stop down myself after the London and Hong Kong trip. I just stayed at home for about 2 weeks time, then i move towards to KL and started my own expected, planned life. Yet, everything didn't seems well even until this moment. I'm frustrated with that, but I know it isnt something i could manage as in my finger tip, i have to wait..
I got a job which has to start to work on 1st Oct. I rejected the job actually but the interviewer kept pursuading me. And, finally he won it and i stayed. The feel wasn't good even i have started my job there. That was lonely life. Eat alone, even with roommate, yet doesn't talk. Sorry to say that, i couldn't understand her life. I chose to quit. While i was suffering my life there, i tried to get support from my family, beloved etc.. It seems like no one >.<
On that moment, i felt like, I'm a new born human on the earth, in the social with no one beside me. Nobody could unduerstand me. I didn't know the accuracy of my decision, I just know, I was really upset.
Life wasn't as good as i thought.
My 1st job, drew up something significant in my career life. It was busy, tasteless, and dull. I reached my office early in the morning, then started to work, then would take the lonely lunch, Then continue to work. Even it's time to get off, but everyone is still working. I should to go off at 5.30pm, even i work until 6.30pm, Colleague still stare at me when i go off... =.= The life was tiring.
However, i managed to quit lastly.
And, immediately i started my 2nd job on the next day. Tiring and rushing life continued. Yet, i have colleagues to eat together during lunch, punctual lunch time, chit-chatting throughout the lunch.. Work but slightly brighten up as well.
The busy life continued for 3 months and finally i could stop down after working for about 2 monts. Now, i'm shaking legs in my office. I'm thoroughly free!!!
I'm sleepy as well...
Well, will be continued...
Dont have the mood to write ><
This is because the blog had occurred some error and i hope it's gone now.
i also not sure what to be written here, but i'm free in the office so i have the time to think =)
I didn't really stop down myself after the London and Hong Kong trip. I just stayed at home for about 2 weeks time, then i move towards to KL and started my own expected, planned life. Yet, everything didn't seems well even until this moment. I'm frustrated with that, but I know it isnt something i could manage as in my finger tip, i have to wait..
I got a job which has to start to work on 1st Oct. I rejected the job actually but the interviewer kept pursuading me. And, finally he won it and i stayed. The feel wasn't good even i have started my job there. That was lonely life. Eat alone, even with roommate, yet doesn't talk. Sorry to say that, i couldn't understand her life. I chose to quit. While i was suffering my life there, i tried to get support from my family, beloved etc.. It seems like no one >.<
On that moment, i felt like, I'm a new born human on the earth, in the social with no one beside me. Nobody could unduerstand me. I didn't know the accuracy of my decision, I just know, I was really upset.
Life wasn't as good as i thought.
My 1st job, drew up something significant in my career life. It was busy, tasteless, and dull. I reached my office early in the morning, then started to work, then would take the lonely lunch, Then continue to work. Even it's time to get off, but everyone is still working. I should to go off at 5.30pm, even i work until 6.30pm, Colleague still stare at me when i go off... =.= The life was tiring.
However, i managed to quit lastly.
And, immediately i started my 2nd job on the next day. Tiring and rushing life continued. Yet, i have colleagues to eat together during lunch, punctual lunch time, chit-chatting throughout the lunch.. Work but slightly brighten up as well.
The busy life continued for 3 months and finally i could stop down after working for about 2 monts. Now, i'm shaking legs in my office. I'm thoroughly free!!!
I'm sleepy as well...
Well, will be continued...
Dont have the mood to write ><
Sunday, October 4, 2009
吃饭的压力
阿姨刚刚叫我吃饭，说开饭了，一切准备好了。
我却不敢下去，就不想看到不想看到的巨面
华人一向注重礼义廉耻，所以姨丈认为饭前叫所有人吃饭是一种礼貌，尤其长辈。
而我却觉得，反正大家坐下来了，为什么还要这样客气？？
凡正就是一家人吃饭，应该轻松地享受，无需拘礼。
昨天，听妹妹说，他在大厅广众面前说，要强逼我叫完所有人才可以吃。
。。。 。。。。 。。。。
好彩，妹妹冲凉，我说，我要等妹妹一起吃。。
嗯，就连最简单的吃饭也这样。。
=(
听到他们吃饭的声音，我还真却步了。。。
我却不敢下去，就不想看到不想看到的巨面
华人一向注重礼义廉耻，所以姨丈认为饭前叫所有人吃饭是一种礼貌，尤其长辈。
而我却觉得，反正大家坐下来了，为什么还要这样客气？？
凡正就是一家人吃饭，应该轻松地享受，无需拘礼。
昨天，听妹妹说，他在大厅广众面前说，要强逼我叫完所有人才可以吃。
。。。 。。。。 。。。。
好彩，妹妹冲凉，我说，我要等妹妹一起吃。。
嗯，就连最简单的吃饭也这样。。
=(
听到他们吃饭的声音，我还真却步了。。。
Update about YQ
I had being in Malaysia for half a month time =)
I wished to come back eagerly when i was in UK, i thought there is nth worth for me to stay down as i'm 'alone' there.
But when i left and depart and step on my homeland, there was a weird feeling rose in my heart, i didnt know how to describe it.
Somewhere so so so familiar to me, yet so strange to me..
The environment is totally different. There is another feel to see those malay nowadays... >,<
After back here, honestly i did nth even meeting on my friends.
I didnt contact ppl, but after that i just met up with my best friends..
The gathering was quite nice to me, i love it!!!!
It is really a long long time that i didnt 'yamcha' with friends..
No night life in UK >,<
Then, i had proceeded to KL
And i also got a job which i never plan or think of.
Yap, it's a QS job, and yet... it's sth about interior design, the company's speciality is totally new to me. Hmm~~~
I'm giving myself a chance to try... I'd quit if i couldnt suit myself there.
I felt the pressure, maybe of the environment, It just like i couldnt release myself even after work.
I hate the traffic jam!!! when go and back from work >,<
After back to here, and saw tonnes of cars... i felt heavy...upset!
Dunno wat would happen on me after this...?!
Just quick brief on my life, maybe would have lesser update after this
Cause i dunno does my company allow the staffs to blog anot as they blocked the friends maker websites like FB =(
Good luck to everyone =D
I wished to come back eagerly when i was in UK, i thought there is nth worth for me to stay down as i'm 'alone' there.
But when i left and depart and step on my homeland, there was a weird feeling rose in my heart, i didnt know how to describe it.
Somewhere so so so familiar to me, yet so strange to me..
The environment is totally different. There is another feel to see those malay nowadays... >,<
After back here, honestly i did nth even meeting on my friends.
I didnt contact ppl, but after that i just met up with my best friends..
The gathering was quite nice to me, i love it!!!!
It is really a long long time that i didnt 'yamcha' with friends..
No night life in UK >,<
Then, i had proceeded to KL
And i also got a job which i never plan or think of.
Yap, it's a QS job, and yet... it's sth about interior design, the company's speciality is totally new to me. Hmm~~~
I'm giving myself a chance to try... I'd quit if i couldnt suit myself there.
I felt the pressure, maybe of the environment, It just like i couldnt release myself even after work.
I hate the traffic jam!!! when go and back from work >,<
After back to here, and saw tonnes of cars... i felt heavy...upset!
Dunno wat would happen on me after this...?!
Just quick brief on my life, maybe would have lesser update after this
Cause i dunno does my company allow the staffs to blog anot as they blocked the friends maker websites like FB =(
Good luck to everyone =D
Sunday, August 30, 2009
阿嬷的话
星期六晚上
我刚才想起了一位朋友，好想念我们偶尔在星期六一起出去吃饭、聊天。
我一直都很享受这样的时刻，这是我要的星期六晚上。
想着想着，也没心情做功课，就看起超级星光大道来。
这是很长的一集，看到最后第二首歌，我的眼泪失控了。
那首歌，感动了我。
我觉得，这是一场很感动的演唱。
它让我的泪水猛飚........
它让我想起我的爷爷，也跟我说过同样的话。
萧煌奇 - 阿嬷的话
在细汉的时阵阮阿嬷对我尚好
甲尚好的东西拢会留乎我
伊嘛定定带我去幼稚园看人在七桃
看人在办公伙儿 看人在觅相找
伊定定跟阮说 叫阮着要好好仔读册
呒通大汉像恁老爸仔彼呢啊狼狈ㄛ
在彼个时阵 阮拢听拢呒
阿嬷 你到底是在讲什么
大汉了后 才知影阿嬷的话
我会甲永远永远放块心肝底
想到一步一步的过去
定定拢会乎人真难忘
时间一分一秒块过去
在阮的心内定定拢会想到伊
阿嬷你今嘛在叨位
阮在叫你你甘有听到
阮的认真甲阮的成功你甘有看到
阮在叫你你知影没
阿嬷你今嘛过的好么
甘有人块甲你照顾
希望后世人阮搁会冻来乎你疼
作你永远的孙仔
搁叫你一声阿嬷
********************************************************
我也想再叫你一声阿公
我也会记得你叫我好好读书，当年五、六年级的我。
其实，我也觉得很惭愧，因为心情不好，我把功课搁置一旁。
浪费了一天的时间。
很久，很久没被一首歌这样地感动了。
我好想念往生的爷爷
更想念在家的奶奶，希望她多多保重自己的健康
我刚才想起了一位朋友，好想念我们偶尔在星期六一起出去吃饭、聊天。
我一直都很享受这样的时刻，这是我要的星期六晚上。
想着想着，也没心情做功课，就看起超级星光大道来。
这是很长的一集，看到最后第二首歌，我的眼泪失控了。
那首歌，感动了我。
我觉得，这是一场很感动的演唱。
它让我的泪水猛飚........
它让我想起我的爷爷，也跟我说过同样的话。
萧煌奇 - 阿嬷的话
在细汉的时阵阮阿嬷对我尚好
甲尚好的东西拢会留乎我
伊嘛定定带我去幼稚园看人在七桃
看人在办公伙儿 看人在觅相找
伊定定跟阮说 叫阮着要好好仔读册
呒通大汉像恁老爸仔彼呢啊狼狈ㄛ
在彼个时阵 阮拢听拢呒
阿嬷 你到底是在讲什么
大汉了后 才知影阿嬷的话
我会甲永远永远放块心肝底
想到一步一步的过去
定定拢会乎人真难忘
时间一分一秒块过去
在阮的心内定定拢会想到伊
阿嬷你今嘛在叨位
阮在叫你你甘有听到
阮的认真甲阮的成功你甘有看到
阮在叫你你知影没
阿嬷你今嘛过的好么
甘有人块甲你照顾
希望后世人阮搁会冻来乎你疼
作你永远的孙仔
搁叫你一声阿嬷
********************************************************
我也想再叫你一声阿公
我也会记得你叫我好好读书，当年五、六年级的我。
其实，我也觉得很惭愧，因为心情不好，我把功课搁置一旁。
浪费了一天的时间。
很久，很久没被一首歌这样地感动了。
我好想念往生的爷爷
更想念在家的奶奶，希望她多多保重自己的健康
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Being Imposed!!!
It is so soon that i'm leaving Liverpool now...
I didnt expect to make new friends here, i mean someone who is close to me, whose can share life together.
Sorry that i dont know since when i had lost the passion in making new friends..
I was walking in city centre with my friends, and i received a call from my friend.
She seldom call to me, and that's why i feel weird to receive the call...
Her "there is closing down sales in Crocs"
Friend "why would she call u ger?"
YQ "maybe she knows i wanted to buy Crocs"
When i arrived in Crocs, i thought she went off, who knows, i still met her there.
She came to have few words with me, and i replied, then she went to talk with my friends.
After all, my friends told me... We knew her intention...
She needs my friends to deliver sth for her bf....
Haiz ><>
I was so frustrated after knowing her intention...
The feel was so bad!
Actually, i was being told she is very cunning and do everything with an intention?
I just never expect even such a tiny thing, she also did it with an intention......
Sob!
I didnt expect to make new friends here, i mean someone who is close to me, whose can share life together.
Sorry that i dont know since when i had lost the passion in making new friends..
I was walking in city centre with my friends, and i received a call from my friend.
She seldom call to me, and that's why i feel weird to receive the call...
Her "there is closing down sales in Crocs"
Friend "why would she call u ger?"
YQ "maybe she knows i wanted to buy Crocs"
When i arrived in Crocs, i thought she went off, who knows, i still met her there.
She came to have few words with me, and i replied, then she went to talk with my friends.
After all, my friends told me... We knew her intention...
She needs my friends to deliver sth for her bf....
Haiz ><>
I was so frustrated after knowing her intention...
The feel was so bad!
Actually, i was being told she is very cunning and do everything with an intention?
I just never expect even such a tiny thing, she also did it with an intention......
Sob!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Yasmin Ahmad
(雪蘭莪‧首邦市）大馬著名導演雅斯敏阿末（Yasmin Ahmad）週六（7月25日）晚上病逝後，今日（週日，7月26日）早上在梳邦再也的Abu Bakar As-Siddiq回教堂舉殯，大馬演藝圈及各界人士不捨這位名導離去，全體同聲一哭。
雅斯敏阿末於上週四（23日）因中風及腦出血突然昏迷後，連日來未甦醒的她於週六晚上11時25分與世長辭，享年51歲。
雅斯敏是於週四（23日）在第3電視開會時，突然因中風及腦出血昏倒，被緊急送往附近的白沙羅專科醫院急救，週六下午一度傳出病情惡化，並於週六晚上不敵病魔，與世長辭。
雅絲敏阿末的電影多半取材自她個人的生命經歷，親暱的家庭關係及駁雜多元的大馬社會成為她作品當中最關鍵的養份來源。
星洲日報‧2009.07.26
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------*
A reporting about the death of Malaysian Award-winning director, Yasmin Ahmad.
A local director who i admire so much..
I knew her from a magazine interview of her...
Then only i knew she was the director of Sepet...
It's rarely to meet such talent in Malaysia, as i prefer the realistic story line in her movies though i just ever watched Sepet..
Paise..
And yet, truly admire her from the bottom of my heart..
RIP
雅斯敏阿末於上週四（23日）因中風及腦出血突然昏迷後，連日來未甦醒的她於週六晚上11時25分與世長辭，享年51歲。
雅斯敏是於週四（23日）在第3電視開會時，突然因中風及腦出血昏倒，被緊急送往附近的白沙羅專科醫院急救，週六下午一度傳出病情惡化，並於週六晚上不敵病魔，與世長辭。
對馬來西亞本地愛好 電影者而言，雅絲敏阿末（Yasmin Ahmad）並不是陌生的名字，每年在各大節慶前後推出的國油（Petronas）廣告，溫馨且緊扣人心，一直深受國人喜愛，印裔父子同慶國慶、華裔婆孫 同慶新年、三大種族男童成“沙煲兄弟”，還有“LRT讓座位”國民意識廣告……這些感人、溫馨的廣告，都是出自雅絲敏之手。
雅絲敏阿末出生於1958年，14歲就到倫敦唸書，從事電視廣告製作26年，雖然在廣告界是殿堂級人馬，但雅絲敏從未考慮跨入電影界拍攝電影，直到爸爸病了。
她說：“因為我父親病了。我想要告訴我媽媽和爸爸，我很愛他們，想給他們一些東西，所以我拍了自己的首部電影《Rabun》，一部關於他們，關於老了仍彼此相愛的電影。就因為他們，所以才拍電影，有點意料之外。”
2002年以父母故事為藍本的電影《Rabun》獲得好評後，她之後約每年出品一部電影，雖然題材頗具爭議性，但幾乎都在海內外揚威，在國際間有一定的地位，2007年金馬獎影展“東南亞新勢力”便特地引介了她的4部作品；今年6月的台北電影，她不但擔任國際青年導演競賽的評審，同時還放映她的新作《Talentime》。
拍《單眼皮》後受華裔青睞
許多華裔是在雅絲敏於2004年拍攝電影《單眼皮》（Sepet）後，開始認識她，她更憑這部電影拿下法國Creteil國際女導演電影展最高榮譽評審大獎。
她在2007年為大馬國油拍攝的“陳鴻明”電視廣告，摘下康城金獅獎，成為史上首位奪得此獎的大馬人。她近2年奪得國際及國內廣告獎大獎，包括2008年安迪國際獎最佳導演及公共服務金獎。她也在《2009年首要藝術家獎頒獎典禮》，拿下“藝術家之星獎”。
《單眼皮》以及另二部曲作品《Gubra》和《Mukhsin》打響雅絲敏在本地與國際的知名 度，不僅在各大影展大放異彩，其跨族群文化的內容展現還打破大馬觀眾的觀影習慣，成功吸引不同種族的人走進電影院。當《單眼皮》和《Gubra》分別榮獲 第18屆和第19屆大馬電影節最佳電影獎後，引起主流馬來報章的一陣撻伐，被質疑其“馬來性”和得獎的合理性。
對於當時《單眼皮》引起輿論，雅絲敏被嗆聲指傾向華人社群，她曾淡淡地說：“其實，《單眼皮》只是個關於男女墮入愛河的愛情故事，無關華人或馬來人。”她表示，“我一直認為，唯有各族團結，大馬才會更美好。不管是我拍的戲或是廣告，都反映這項訊息。”
先後與印度人華人結婚
雅絲敏經歷2段婚姻，前任丈夫是印度人，現任丈夫則是小她5歲的陳耀良，在她的愛情裡，並沒有種族之分。
“我想說的就是，對我而言，他們只是人，沒有所謂的印度人或華人。”雅絲敏阿末的電影多半取材自她個人的生命經歷，親暱的家庭關係及駁雜多元的大馬社會成為她作品當中最關鍵的養份來源。
星洲日報‧2009.07.26
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------*
A reporting about the death of Malaysian Award-winning director, Yasmin Ahmad.
A local director who i admire so much..
I knew her from a magazine interview of her...
Then only i knew she was the director of Sepet...
It's rarely to meet such talent in Malaysia, as i prefer the realistic story line in her movies though i just ever watched Sepet..
Paise..
And yet, truly admire her from the bottom of my heart..
RIP
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Night Walk
Always sleep in the very late midnight...
Busying something means nothing..,
Tired + Sleepy in class...
I was having a nap this evening, When i woke up..
I felt to go out to buy my thing..
And i get what i want to.. Bread...
9pm++, i think about to 10pm...
The Sun begun to set, lighting on the streets..
I pass the pubs and bistros, crowds everywhere...
Cars park along the road, full!!!
It has been a very long time I dun see such a situation.
It brought me back to the Friday night in KL city..
Where i always went out at night, for movie, for a drink, for..... anything..
As long as i wanted to go out... To relax....
Busying something means nothing..,
Tired + Sleepy in class...
I was having a nap this evening, When i woke up..
I felt to go out to buy my thing..
And i get what i want to.. Bread...
9pm++, i think about to 10pm...
The Sun begun to set, lighting on the streets..
I pass the pubs and bistros, crowds everywhere...
Cars park along the road, full!!!
It has been a very long time I dun see such a situation.
It brought me back to the Friday night in KL city..
Where i always went out at night, for movie, for a drink, for..... anything..As long as i wanted to go out... To relax....
Thursday, July 23, 2009
随意
好想家
好想念家人
（妈妈忙得两个星期多没跟我聊天）
想朋友
想念一班好朋友
（我好像很久没跟朋友联络）
想喝汽水；想吃零食
突然想看戏，手里握着汽水+零食
（平时，我并不怎么喝汽水，零食也少吃，现在一直尝试这里的薯片）
想去海边·拍照
想看日落，想一个人沉思
想哭，想睡
想念，如果会有声音
不愿，那是悲伤的声音
在这里，我不可以随意打电话
在这里，我不可以随意找到我想找的人
在这里，什么都有，就是没有归属感
在这里， ... ... ... ...
好想念家人
（妈妈忙得两个星期多没跟我聊天）
想朋友
想念一班好朋友
（我好像很久没跟朋友联络）
想喝汽水；想吃零食
突然想看戏，手里握着汽水+零食
（平时，我并不怎么喝汽水，零食也少吃，现在一直尝试这里的薯片）
想去海边·拍照
想看日落，想一个人沉思
想哭，想睡
想念，如果会有声音
不愿，那是悲伤的声音
在这里，我不可以随意打电话
在这里，我不可以随意找到我想找的人
在这里，什么都有，就是没有归属感
在这里， ... ... ... ...
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Malaysians Style Breakfast
I woke up around 6am sth...
So unwilling to wake up as i still sleepy...
It's a nice day..
Nice weather.. even without sunshine.....
Quite cloudy...
And I decided to make myself a nice breakfast for waking up so early..
=p
Just a tiny award to myself before i start to do my revision for the exam papers on next week...
As i have extra 10 eggs in a sudden..
Then, i decided to make this breakfast for myself..
Milo + Half boiled egg + Bread ^^
= Satisfied!!!
Hope, i could really study sth today.... =p
So unwilling to wake up as i still sleepy...
It's a nice day..
Nice weather.. even without sunshine.....
Quite cloudy...
And I decided to make myself a nice breakfast for waking up so early..
=p
Just a tiny award to myself before i start to do my revision for the exam papers on next week...
As i have extra 10 eggs in a sudden..
Then, i decided to make this breakfast for myself..
Milo + Half boiled egg + Bread ^^
= Satisfied!!!
Hope, i could really study sth today.... =p
Friday, July 3, 2009
闷
HHHhhhmmmmm~~ 忽然胸口闷着闷着。
这两天很想听歌，一些不一样的歌。
偶尔觉得，太安静了。
昨晚，半夜，朋友说想出去走走，12am 我竟然说，要就走吧！
虽然出去，可能一个人走，但就想出去。
最后，还是留在家里，泡网
嗯，终于看完巾帼袅雄，感动，流泪
夜深，天快亮，我才入睡。
醒来，天没有很亮，因为外面飘着毛毛细雨。
心情，好像也这样子，
闷闷地
阴阴地
讲话也没有很客气
心情总是不安牌理出牌 >..<
其实，很想躲在厚厚的被窝里
其实，很想被抱着，很想念哪一个体温
嗯，忽然什么都不想做。。。
又是懒懒的艳琦
这两天很想听歌，一些不一样的歌。
偶尔觉得，太安静了。
昨晚，半夜，朋友说想出去走走，12am 我竟然说，要就走吧！
虽然出去，可能一个人走，但就想出去。
最后，还是留在家里，泡网
嗯，终于看完巾帼袅雄，感动，流泪
夜深，天快亮，我才入睡。
醒来，天没有很亮，因为外面飘着毛毛细雨。
心情，好像也这样子，
闷闷地
阴阴地
讲话也没有很客气
心情总是不安牌理出牌 >..<
其实，很想躲在厚厚的被窝里
其实，很想被抱着，很想念哪一个体温
嗯，忽然什么都不想做。。。
又是懒懒的艳琦
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
给情侣们......
谈恋爱其实是什么？！每个人应该都有自己的见解。
我认为，一起恋爱，是一起分享彼此的生活，而不是其中一方照顾另一方；另一方一味依赖其中一方。。我一直都这么认为。
有一天，有一位朋友说“是哦，现在你拍拖了，我可以跟你问你感情的问题了。” zzz =.="
我一直以来都有自己的见解，这跟我有没有男朋友没关系。可以随时问我，但请不要一直追问我的感情事。
虽然一直以来我都没有拍拖，曾经很想，曾经觉得可有可无，曾经不想。。。。
因为我觉得，一直以来我自己一个人，好好的，没必要多一个人分享或缭乱我的生活。
或许，我太眷恋自由自在的生活。
一直以来，我都有观察自己身边的情侣。
一些每天好像双胞胎，分不开。
一些每天斗嘴，好了又吵，吵了又好。
（我曾经跟一位朋友说，其实他对你很好，不要一直抱怨，应该珍惜）
*如果我看不到这一点，我一定不会说
一些感情如儿戏，换恋人如换衣。
没有多加的批评，只是觉得，这样真的开心点吗？
是不是恋爱多了，经验多了，威水点？还是，只想做不同的尝试？
一些可以一整天不联络，缺乏沟通。彼此间的‘沟通’只是交待。
最近来到新的环境，新的朋友，新的情侣。
一开始，我觉得他们很好，应该不错。怎知后来才知道，双方的记录应该都不好。
（原谅我的老土，或许多一点的恋爱经验，并不等于不良记录）
仔细观察以后，发现，女的总是要男的帮她做东西。
开始，每一天早上看到男朋友给女朋友准备早餐，很幸福，很浪漫。
可是，久了，我就觉得，有一天，男朋友会厌倦这种生活吗？因为，其实彼此都会享受别人为自己准备早餐的时刻。
好像是我第一次听说他们吵架以后，我看到女朋友准备早餐。
或许，女生都不应该做粗重的工作，这代表男生对自己的疼爱？
我只是觉得，男朋友好像做多了。
其实，一些东西女生也可以做，也可以自己学习。
一起恋爱，不一定是指定一方侍候另一方。
我认为，一起做，效果应该更好一些。
我其实不喜欢看到情侣吵架，即使只为小事争吵。
因为我觉得，吵得多了，感情一定会有裂缝。
而裂缝，或许是无法弥补的。
裂缝随时分裂，或永远留在哪里。。。
而且，有时候，这些争吵也会给我带来烦恼。
两个不同的个体，一定会有争吵时，只是，太多的争吵，便对感情造成伤害了。
或许该听听大家的想法，再寻找共同点。
没有共识，就应该无法走同一条路。
争吵，或许可以带来更多的沟通，而让彼此了解。
虽然我不赞同，只是，一些情侣甚至没有沟通，只是觉得应该交待。
就对彼此交待大家做了什么东西。或许他是你生活的一部分，但绝不是你心灵的一部分。
这或许是一种惯性依赖，只是我想，一天，大家没有了话题，往后的日子，要怎么走下去。
每天看着对方，觉得对方没变，便等于安好？
其实，生活里，还有很多可以分享的东西。人的想法、见解是会随着时间而改变。
缺乏沟通，或许一天，你会发现，你最熟悉的人，成为一位陌生人。
那是可悲的一天。
到现在，每当我看见满头银发的老夫妻牵着彼此的手走在路上，心中总是莫名感动、羡慕。
我想，两人可以走过半世人的日子，应该不简单，当众一起经历的。。。。
因为现在的婚姻也如儿戏般。婚姻不是一个保障。
我看到自己的父母，到现在还有很多的话题，一起出街，我还是深深的祝福。
希望他们可以一直这样下去。。。。
以前，对恋爱有一定的见解。那些，应该都不会错。
只是，后来才体会了一些细节，一些事情，想、说、做，未必是一样的。
生活，是一起学习、分享。
=)
珍惜眼前人，如果他/她不是对的人，或许真的不该浪费时间。
付出的未必等于回报，只是没有回报，付出的，好像白费了。
意义也没有了。
看到一些情侣分手了，不一定觉得可惜。
一些感情，是应该结束，不该浪费任何一方的感情、时间。
只是不明白，为什么一些人可以盲目地恋爱？！
或许我真的太理智，太清醒！
我认为，一起恋爱，是一起分享彼此的生活，而不是其中一方照顾另一方；另一方一味依赖其中一方。。我一直都这么认为。
有一天，有一位朋友说“是哦，现在你拍拖了，我可以跟你问你感情的问题了。” zzz =.="
我一直以来都有自己的见解，这跟我有没有男朋友没关系。可以随时问我，但请不要一直追问我的感情事。
虽然一直以来我都没有拍拖，曾经很想，曾经觉得可有可无，曾经不想。。。。
因为我觉得，一直以来我自己一个人，好好的，没必要多一个人分享或缭乱我的生活。
或许，我太眷恋自由自在的生活。
一直以来，我都有观察自己身边的情侣。
一些每天好像双胞胎，分不开。
一些每天斗嘴，好了又吵，吵了又好。
（我曾经跟一位朋友说，其实他对你很好，不要一直抱怨，应该珍惜）
*如果我看不到这一点，我一定不会说
一些感情如儿戏，换恋人如换衣。
没有多加的批评，只是觉得，这样真的开心点吗？
是不是恋爱多了，经验多了，威水点？还是，只想做不同的尝试？
一些可以一整天不联络，缺乏沟通。彼此间的‘沟通’只是交待。
最近来到新的环境，新的朋友，新的情侣。
一开始，我觉得他们很好，应该不错。怎知后来才知道，双方的记录应该都不好。
（原谅我的老土，或许多一点的恋爱经验，并不等于不良记录）
仔细观察以后，发现，女的总是要男的帮她做东西。
开始，每一天早上看到男朋友给女朋友准备早餐，很幸福，很浪漫。
可是，久了，我就觉得，有一天，男朋友会厌倦这种生活吗？因为，其实彼此都会享受别人为自己准备早餐的时刻。
好像是我第一次听说他们吵架以后，我看到女朋友准备早餐。
或许，女生都不应该做粗重的工作，这代表男生对自己的疼爱？
我只是觉得，男朋友好像做多了。
其实，一些东西女生也可以做，也可以自己学习。
一起恋爱，不一定是指定一方侍候另一方。
我认为，一起做，效果应该更好一些。
我其实不喜欢看到情侣吵架，即使只为小事争吵。
因为我觉得，吵得多了，感情一定会有裂缝。
而裂缝，或许是无法弥补的。
裂缝随时分裂，或永远留在哪里。。。
而且，有时候，这些争吵也会给我带来烦恼。
两个不同的个体，一定会有争吵时，只是，太多的争吵，便对感情造成伤害了。
或许该听听大家的想法，再寻找共同点。
没有共识，就应该无法走同一条路。
争吵，或许可以带来更多的沟通，而让彼此了解。
虽然我不赞同，只是，一些情侣甚至没有沟通，只是觉得应该交待。
就对彼此交待大家做了什么东西。或许他是你生活的一部分，但绝不是你心灵的一部分。
这或许是一种惯性依赖，只是我想，一天，大家没有了话题，往后的日子，要怎么走下去。
每天看着对方，觉得对方没变，便等于安好？
其实，生活里，还有很多可以分享的东西。人的想法、见解是会随着时间而改变。
缺乏沟通，或许一天，你会发现，你最熟悉的人，成为一位陌生人。
那是可悲的一天。
到现在，每当我看见满头银发的老夫妻牵着彼此的手走在路上，心中总是莫名感动、羡慕。
我想，两人可以走过半世人的日子，应该不简单，当众一起经历的。。。。
因为现在的婚姻也如儿戏般。婚姻不是一个保障。
我看到自己的父母，到现在还有很多的话题，一起出街，我还是深深的祝福。
希望他们可以一直这样下去。。。。
以前，对恋爱有一定的见解。那些，应该都不会错。
只是，后来才体会了一些细节，一些事情，想、说、做，未必是一样的。
生活，是一起学习、分享。
=)
珍惜眼前人，如果他/她不是对的人，或许真的不该浪费时间。
付出的未必等于回报，只是没有回报，付出的，好像白费了。
意义也没有了。
看到一些情侣分手了，不一定觉得可惜。
一些感情，是应该结束，不该浪费任何一方的感情、时间。
只是不明白，为什么一些人可以盲目地恋爱？！
或许我真的太理智，太清醒！
Birthday in London
It was just like dreaming when I knew I'm going to spend my birthday in London.
London, such a big city where I dun ever dare to think to have such a chance to go there during my day..
Feel please to have the chance =)
And yet, i dun have any excitement in my heart though it is such a dreamy place to me.
It's just like when I had to depart from MAS.
To me, it is more important to spend the day with someone else....
My friends who I'm well know with, crazy tgt~~ My family... My love one....
I was missing them badly during the time... They are the most important ppl to me...
This could be said as my most quiet birthday I have since I came out to study, no celebration, no cake, no birthday song...
I rather to celebrate my birthday in my homeland, with someone i'm familiar to...
London has anything I want... full with crowds, foods, etc.....
I saw koreans, japanese, chinese everywhere... wondering how good London is, why are the ppl coming here?
Besides, the transportation system is so good, excellent accessibility.
And yet, i think it is just in London but not all the states in England.... Not fully developed yet.
But, it is better KL make good the place 1st..
And... I could also see ppl with different kind of fashion on the streets.. Salute to them!
And.. finally i know, London is really a big city... I walked so much there....
I couldnt believe that i could walk so far....
I think, London is somewhere worth visiting... Quite a lovely n attractive city......
Finally, at the age of 22nd, i step on London...
Been to River Thames, Tower Bridge, House of Parliament, St. Paul's Cathedral.... etc
Somewhere i looked at pics since i were so young.. long long time ago...
I couldnt believe i was there.
But, there were not as pretty as in my mind...
My birthday ended up with Korean food with my friends...
Thank you~ ^^
Even it was simple, and yet after a tiring day, they still walk further to the restaurant..
Again, i wish everyone stay healthy n happily.... beware of H1N1*
And... i hope i can score the best result i could achieve =)
22nd... hmm~~~ i remember i couldnt accept that i was 20 years old...
And, it was 2 year ago...
Jui said, we are no more 18-22... Yup, we are not....
Hope that we could face the fact, and grow more matured, more responsible with our life...
At least, to have a target to go on~~~
22nd... it seems like, i still have nth~~~
Life, keep on to go, and I didnt make any change for it..
Let it be.......
This year, no more unacceptable feel... just... no feel, missing home land...
Age, sth i couldnt control...
And i think, i should grow up as time goes on....
I hope i do...
In London, i almost forget that was my birthday... Maybe, i dun have any celebration...
Without a cake... Anyway, i'd like to buy one for myself during my lunar calendar birthday..
Sound pity...
生日，其实只是普通的一天。
只想天天都开心 =)
London, such a big city where I dun ever dare to think to have such a chance to go there during my day..
Feel please to have the chance =)
And yet, i dun have any excitement in my heart though it is such a dreamy place to me.
It's just like when I had to depart from MAS.
To me, it is more important to spend the day with someone else....
My friends who I'm well know with, crazy tgt~~ My family... My love one....
I was missing them badly during the time... They are the most important ppl to me...
This could be said as my most quiet birthday I have since I came out to study, no celebration, no cake, no birthday song...
I rather to celebrate my birthday in my homeland, with someone i'm familiar to...
London has anything I want... full with crowds, foods, etc.....
I saw koreans, japanese, chinese everywhere... wondering how good London is, why are the ppl coming here?
Besides, the transportation system is so good, excellent accessibility.
And yet, i think it is just in London but not all the states in England.... Not fully developed yet.
But, it is better KL make good the place 1st..
And... I could also see ppl with different kind of fashion on the streets.. Salute to them!
And.. finally i know, London is really a big city... I walked so much there....
I couldnt believe that i could walk so far....
I think, London is somewhere worth visiting... Quite a lovely n attractive city......
Finally, at the age of 22nd, i step on London...
Been to River Thames, Tower Bridge, House of Parliament, St. Paul's Cathedral.... etc
Somewhere i looked at pics since i were so young.. long long time ago...
I couldnt believe i was there.
But, there were not as pretty as in my mind...
My birthday ended up with Korean food with my friends...
Thank you~ ^^
Even it was simple, and yet after a tiring day, they still walk further to the restaurant..
Again, i wish everyone stay healthy n happily.... beware of H1N1*
And... i hope i can score the best result i could achieve =)
22nd... hmm~~~ i remember i couldnt accept that i was 20 years old...
And, it was 2 year ago...
Jui said, we are no more 18-22... Yup, we are not....
Hope that we could face the fact, and grow more matured, more responsible with our life...
At least, to have a target to go on~~~
22nd... it seems like, i still have nth~~~
Life, keep on to go, and I didnt make any change for it..
Let it be.......
This year, no more unacceptable feel... just... no feel, missing home land...
Age, sth i couldnt control...
And i think, i should grow up as time goes on....
I hope i do...
In London, i almost forget that was my birthday... Maybe, i dun have any celebration...
Without a cake... Anyway, i'd like to buy one for myself during my lunar calendar birthday..
Sound pity...
生日，其实只是普通的一天。
只想天天都开心 =)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Busy life in Liverpool
Hmm... time always flies without waiting for anyone.. This is the 3rd week in Liverpool....
For the 1st 2 weeks, it was quite enjoying... We had 2 hours classes per day... Gosh, what a relax studying life here. I thought, I was wrong by expecting the hard life here.
[According to seniors, studying in Liverpool John Moores University (LJMU) is much tougher than study in Sheffield Hallam University (SHU)]
I was thinking, how could seniors said tough with such a life? 2 hours class, then u could go around the city centre, walk around, do some shopping or window shopping, etc....
Nightmare begins...
Yesterday was the starting of 3rd week with a new subject, which is about cost and financial.
When I first get the handout, I looked at the schedule of the module... My eyes brighten up with sth... "Group Presentation"
There is group presentation on the next day, and it's going to be held throughout the 2 weeks module daily. GOSH!!!!!!!
What is this? It means, we are going to have daily assignment and have to present it on the next day..... >,<
I was really really upset with that, frustrated life.... Disgusting!
Maybe it is a long time i have been having my holiday, relaxing all the way without using my brain. And yet, i think, my brain need sometime to warm up.... zzz
I dun like a rushing life, just busying doing thing from day to night, before sleep, after i wake up..
That's why, on the moment, i'm looking forward to the weekends. At least i think, i could give myself some time, to tidy up myself. And also to let my hair down....
I always need time for myself, just to tidy up my own mind, prepare for the next week. Doing sth i like to....
Tension life.
Fighting with time for the assignments...
Searching some info which we do not know previously from none....
Hope that, everything going to be fine and get used with it...
=)
For the 1st 2 weeks, it was quite enjoying... We had 2 hours classes per day... Gosh, what a relax studying life here. I thought, I was wrong by expecting the hard life here.
[According to seniors, studying in Liverpool John Moores University (LJMU) is much tougher than study in Sheffield Hallam University (SHU)]
I was thinking, how could seniors said tough with such a life? 2 hours class, then u could go around the city centre, walk around, do some shopping or window shopping, etc....
Nightmare begins...
Yesterday was the starting of 3rd week with a new subject, which is about cost and financial.
When I first get the handout, I looked at the schedule of the module... My eyes brighten up with sth... "Group Presentation"
There is group presentation on the next day, and it's going to be held throughout the 2 weeks module daily. GOSH!!!!!!!
What is this? It means, we are going to have daily assignment and have to present it on the next day..... >,<
I was really really upset with that, frustrated life.... Disgusting!
Maybe it is a long time i have been having my holiday, relaxing all the way without using my brain. And yet, i think, my brain need sometime to warm up.... zzz
I dun like a rushing life, just busying doing thing from day to night, before sleep, after i wake up..
That's why, on the moment, i'm looking forward to the weekends. At least i think, i could give myself some time, to tidy up myself. And also to let my hair down....
I always need time for myself, just to tidy up my own mind, prepare for the next week. Doing sth i like to....
Tension life.
Fighting with time for the assignments...
Searching some info which we do not know previously from none....
Hope that, everything going to be fine and get used with it...
=)
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